


The Best

by Consultant_Time_Huntress



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Basically everyone is a professor, Cas is an ass but he's an adorable ass so you can't hate him, Drunk Cas, F/M, Fluff, Mentions of Sex, Professor Castiel, Professor Charlie, Professor Dean, Reader-Insert, Smut, bucket loads of angst, professor reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-29 01:14:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8470060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Consultant_Time_Huntress/pseuds/Consultant_Time_Huntress
Summary: First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love - Maya AngelouI loved that quote until one day I realised it didn’t make sense. How can the least best be falling out of love if you never really do fall out of love. Love is always endless. He proved that to me the moment I met him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings : there is a talk about sex but nothing else worth a warning happens

Dean had finally convinced me to get a job at the college. My subject was Physics and it was my passion. I had tried being a theoretical physicist just with the researching but it just didn’t work for me. I felt like I could achieve more by teaching others.

So far my first day was going well. The first lectures of the day I had taught had gone well and now I was going to go get Dean for lunch. He was a mechanical engineering professor and the computing and maths department was on the other side of campus.

When I got there I was slightly awestruck by the sheer amount of amazing computing, gaming and mathematics equipment littering the large open lounge space. I walked in and saw Dean talking to a breathtaking woman. She was beautiful. H/C H/L hair flowing perfectly down to past her chest, bright E/C eyes that were framed by F/C rectangular glasses that most would call geek glasses and she was wearing just flannel and jeans with a pair of converse. 

She laughed at something Dean said to her and pushed her glasses up her nose. I took a deep breath and moved towards them smiling feeling nervous to go talk to such a beautiful woman. I had never felt so nervous around a woman before. 

Dean noticed me and waved as I got closer. When I got to them he clapped me on the shoulder and said “Glad you found your way here. This is Y/n L/n, she’s the best Computing Professor we have in this place. Y/n/n this is Castiel Novak, he’s the new physics Professor.”

Y/n shook my hand smiling and said shyly “Nice to meet you Castiel.” Damn even her voice was beautiful. It was like listening to a melody with the most perfect harmony anyone had ever heard and the way she said my name was so perfect, it just sounded so right coming from her mouth. 

I quickly realised I hadn’t said anything back, and was staring at her like a lovesick puppy, and quickly replied “It’s nice to meet you too Y/n.” She smiled a little more and went to say something but a boy came over to her breathing heavily, stopping her from saying what she was about to say. She chuckled at the boy and asked “What’s up Stiles?”

He took a deep breath and replied breathlessly “Lost the worksheet from last lesson. Need your help to get it.”

She rolled her eyes and said “Seriously? Again? What do you do with the sheets? Eat them?”

He groaned in pain resting his hands on his knees before replying still breathless “It’s not my fault. I’m just really bad at remembering where I put things and I need that sheet like now so I can do the work for two days time!”

She nodded in understanding before sighing and saying to Dean “We’ll talk more about computer materials later Winchester.” Dean laughed and waved goodbye as Y/n dragged the breathless boy away from us.

Dean smiled at me and asked “So how’s the college experience for you so far?”

I was still watching the sway of her hips as she walked away hardly even noticing Dean. For all I cared he could strip naked and start yelling that he was horny and desperate and I still wouldn’t pay any attention.

He clicked in front of my face making me snap out of it and ask “What? I didn’t get any of what you were saying.”

Dean laughed and replied “I asked how you were doing but obviously you were more interested in what Y/n’s ass had to say. Seriously Dude? Y/n? She’s hard to impress Cas, not because she’s picky but because she’s shy. Just be careful when you try and seduce her with your weird blue eyed sex hair charm.”

I looked at him shocked before scowling at him and saying “I do not seduce people and I was merely watching her walk away. I wasn’t looking at her ass.”

He just smirked and replied “Oh really? I happen to know that’s bullshit because your eyes were going back and forth with the sway of her hips and I was pretty sure you were about to follow her like a hypnotised puppy, drooling and everything.” I rolled my eyes at him as we walked out to go to lunch and he just kept smirking at me as I kept denying it. He wasn’t going to leave me alone about it, I could tell. He was right, not that I’d admit it to him though. He’d tease me mercilessly.

-Y/n’s PoV-

-Five Months Later-

I walked into my classroom and hummed as I wrote logic gates and logic expressions on the board ready for lesson. I was nearly finished when someone knocked on the door. I yelled to the door “Come in!”

Castiel came in smiling like usual and I asked “Cas, what can I do for you today?”

He looked over my shoulder and replied “Can’t I come here to see how my friend is?”

I raised my eyebrow at him and asked “No Cas, you can’t. In my experience of knowing you I have learned that when you go to people, nine times out of ten, you want something. So Cas, what do you want?”

His eyes got slightly darker before returning to the beautiful bright blue they usually were. I didn’t know what went through his mind for a second but it definitely wasn’t cute and innocent.

He smiled as if he didn’t just think up something extremely dirty and replied “I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to lunch with me today. Dean’s busy with his brother today and I’d rather not eat alone.”

I smiled at him sincerely and said “If that was all you wanted, you could’ve just came out and asked me. Of course I’ll go to lunch with you. We’re friends Cas.” Wished we weren’t just friends but hey a girl could dream. 

When I met Castiel I was in a permanent state of ‘fuck he’s gorgeous’. Dean wouldn’t stop laughing when I accidentally said that to him in response of 'what do you think of Cas?’. After our first meeting Castiel wouldn’t leave me alone. After much pestering we became friends. He was relentless, extremely sassy in his own subtle ways, quirky to the point he doesn’t understand the simplest of human functions sometimes, slightly eccentric and kinda awkward. He was also utterly adorable. I mean seriously, he’s like a little lost puppy sometimes and it’s enough to make any woman he wanted swoon for him. Dean said that was Castiel’s charm. I found that kind of amusing.

Castiel smiled at me and said “Thanks. I’ll meet you at your office at one.” I nodded and he left while letting in my first lecture students of the day. I smiled at all my first years and sat on table in front of the class ready to teach.

* * *

When lunch came I had just finished my second lecture for the day. I smiled seeing Castiel waiting outside my office and waved at him. He waved back as I approached him and I got out my key. 

When we were in my office he asked “So how was your morning?”

I smiled and replied “Alive with star trek references.” He chuckled and I quickly got my jacket and purse, so I was ready to go, before asking “So where do you want to go to lunch?”  

“Burger joint nearby. They do the best burgers in the state” he replied while holding my door open for me. I nodded  with a smile and we walked out my office.

As we reached the lounge my students were all saying hi to me. I got along extremely well with my students strangely; According to Dean I was the reason we got so many students in the computing and maths department. Daniel, one of my best first year students, came over to us and said “Hey Y/n, hey Novak. I was wondering if I could put a hold on your date for like one minute and talk to you about a timetable problem.” The date thing grated on me a little because Castiel and I weren’t dating but Daniel needed help and I wasn’t going to be rude because of a mistake.

I nodded and Castiel replied “Okay but we’ve still got to get lunch so it’ll have to be quick.” Daniel nodded and I felt myself blushing because Castiel didn’t even correct Daniel. He just let him believe we were going on a date. I knew my students teased me about my friendship with Castiel but he didn’t know that. 

Daniel explained that the course administrator had changed his timetable and apparently mine and Castiel’s lessons overlapped each other on his timetable now. We went to my office and I fixed the problem easily. The course administrator had messed up the lecture timings. Castiel didn’t have lectures at the same time as me for first years. I smiled and said “It’s just a typo Daniel. She put in my lecture times instead of Cas’s. You’ve still got him at the same time as you used to.”

Daniel nodded in understanding and thanked me before going to leave and saying  with a smirk as he reached the door “Enjoy your date guys.” I frowned as he left and then scowled at Castiel. He was just smiling at me. 

I asked slightly annoyed “What?”

He laughed and replied “I find it funny that all your students tease you about our relationship. They must really think we should get together.”

I rolled my eyes and said “Well we’re not so can we just go to lunch”. He nodded smirking slightly with a twinkle in his eyes. Oh that look never spelled well for me. He was thinking up an idea. I ignored it hoping he wouldn’t do anything stupid and we just walked to the burger joint he wanted to go to. Once we got there we were greeted by a blonde waitress. She smiled at us and asked “Usual table Cas?”

He smiled back and replied “Yeah.” She got us two menus and showed us to the table. 

She gave us the menus and said to me “I’m Jo by the way. Nice to see Cas is actually taking out decent girls.” I smiled shyly at her and nodded before she took her leave with our drinks on order.

Castiel smiled at me sweetly and said “Y/n it’s just me here. You don’t have to shy away.”

I put down the menu I was scanning and replied quietly “I’m just not used to waitresses addressing me like we know each other. It makes me a little uncomfortable.”

He took my hand in his smiling and said “It’s fine. Jo’s just a little overly friendly. I’ll tell her to tone it down when she comes back with our drinks.” I nodded giving him a small smile and he continued “If you’re looking for a good burger. I suggest the BBQ bacon double.“ I nodded looking at the burger he was talking about and I couldn’t help but feel hungrier just reading about the delicious burger piled high with bacon, onion rings, two burger patties smothered in a homemade BBQ sauce and of course a good helping of salad and mayo. People who knew me knew I was a real carnivore. I loved meat and I loved burgers. 

When Jo came back with our drinks Castiel ordered for us and as he finished ordering Jo asked "So how did Cas even get you to go out with him?”

I looked at her a little scared before fighting my nerves and replying “He came into my classroom and asked if I wanted to go out for lunch with him. Dean was busy with Sam and my lunch plans generally consist of staying in my office with a can of coke and some kind of terrible tasting sandwich. It’s a nice difference.”

She nodded and asked “So this isn’t a date?”

I shook my head and replied “No. I wouldn’t go on a date in the middle of a day where I have four lectures after lunch.”

She smirked and said “Maybe you two should go out tonight then. Have some fun.”

I shrunk down blushing slightly and she went to ask me more questions but Castiel stopped her saying “Jo Y/n’s kinda shy so do you mind not interrogating her in the middle of a public place or maybe, at all.”

Jo looked me over before nodding and replying “Fine, I’ll go get your food. No sex on the table though.” That’s when I went a deep shade of crimson and was about one comment away from running away.

Jo skipped off smirking and Castiel asked a little worried “You okay?”

I nodded and replied “Just extremely embarrassed and slightly mortified that she’d joke about having sex on a table in front of everyone!”

He laughed and asked “Not that kinky huh?“

I chuckled awkwardly and replied “Charlie’s into a lot of that kind of thing. I’m not vanilla, don’t get me wrong, but I draw the line when it comes to having an audience. I like it to be private, like it means something and isn’t just live porn.”

“Huh, I always pegged you as a girl you liked it slow and sensual. I guess I’m right” Castiel said with a smile. 

I rolled my eyes with a blush and replied “I have you know I only like it slow and gentle when I’m feeling particularily clingy. You know what, you don’t need to know any of that so I’m just gunna shut my shout before I embarrass myself more.”

Castiel laughed and said “If it makes you feel better, I’m the same. We’re two grown adults. Sex should be at least a little easier to talk about than when we were younger.”

“That does make me feel a little better but talking about sex is not on my top ten list of things to talk about with people” I replied with a chuckle. He was just so calm about it, like my sexual preferences were as casual as my favourite movie. 

He smiled brightly and said “Well then, if you don’t want to talk about sex then let’s talk about something that’s on your top ten to talk about list while we eat. You haven’t touched your food yet so eat up.”

I nodded with a smile aimed back at him and we both tucked into our burgers talking about things we didn’t know about each other. The things you find out about people when eating out together. I found out Castiel once got so drunk that he covered himself in honey whilst naked. Dean had found him on his Impala covered in bees. I had told Castiel about how Charlie had managed to convince me to go to Comic Con with her as Hagrid. She was Hermione. He laughed when I said I was Hagrid and I laughed with him because it was pretty funny. 

When we had finished lunch we walked back to the college still laughing. At one point I had to hold onto him because I was real close to falling over from just how hard I was laughing at a story he told me about him, Dean and a brothel. 

As we walked back into the computing and maths building my students started saying hey to me again but with an added tease about Castiel and I dating. It was pretty normal for me but it still made me blush because Castiel was with me that time. 

We walked down the corridor that led to my office and I asked "Why does everyone think we’re dating? It’s not like we flirt or anything.”

He smirked and replied “I don’t know but I like it. Let’s me know I may just have a shot of actually dating you.”

I blushed at him and asked as we came to my office “What do you mean by that?”

He simply took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles, making me blush a deep shade of crimson. When he pulled back he smirked at me and whispered in my ear “I mean I happen to think you’re one of the most beautiful women I have ever met and I would like to think that you would go on a date with me.” He kissed my cheek before winking at me and leaving me dumbfounded and blushing so hard I was practically glowing. 

Was he joking or was he serious?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings : Smut! Fluff! Some slight mentions of Charlie’s sex life. Nothing else really to warn you about

It had been three days since Castiel’s little confession? Joke? Tease? I didn’t know what it was but I was avoiding him. It was lunch and I was heading for my office and just as it came into my view I saw Castiel standing outside of it waiting for me. I went to turn around but he noticed me and came running down the hall. I blushed slightly, thinking of what happened with him there, and walked faster determined not to let him catch up. Sadly though that wasn’t accomplished and he grabbed my arm just as I was about to leave the corridor. He dragged me back to my office while I made protests and excuses to why he should just leave me alone. He caged me between the door and him so I couldn’t go anywhere and asked desperately and a little hurt “Why are you avoiding me?”

I looked down blushing and replied “I’m-I’m not avoiding you.”

He scowled at me and said with a slight growl “Stop lying. I know you’ve been avoiding me and I don’t like it. Why won’t you let me go near you?”

I didn’t answer him, I just went through my bag trying to find my keys to my office to find an escape. He stopped me and said sternly “Look at me Y/n, I won’t be ignored.” I bit my lip nervously and looked at him but avoiding his eyes. He cupped my face in his hands forcing me to look him in the eyes before asking with those damn cute puppy dog eyes “Why are you avoiding me?”

I blushed crimson and replied with a mix of emotions ranging from embarrassed to damn straight nerve-racked “I’m avoiding you because I-I don’t know how to act around you anymore. I don’t know if you were joking last time I saw you, telling the truth or just trying to make the teasing, the students give me, better.”

He looked at me slightly hurt and sad before leaning in closer to me and asking “Would it make you feel better if I told you I was telling you the truth?”

I swallowed hard and shook my head, not trusting my words. He leaned in even closer licking his lips before asking while glancing at my lips “How about this?”

Before I could ask what he was up to his lips were on mine kissing me ever so softly, like he was afraid I’d run away again. I kissed back tentatively, closing my eyes as I got to feel his lips. They were so soft and fit my lips perfectly. The kiss was soft but it said so much. It wasn’t lit with fiery passion but a slow burning simmer of passion just keeping us both on our toes. When he pulled away it felt too soon but I didn’t voice my discontent, I just swallowed the whimper building in my throat and blushed even harder. He asked, smiling lovingly at me, “Does that make you feel better?”

I nodded still blushing a bright deep crimson. He smiled brighter at me and asked while scratching the back of his neck “D-Do you think we could go out tonight? O-On a date that is, not-not hanging out.”

I gave him a shy smile and replied barely even above a whisper “I-I’d love to.”

He smiled ear to ear at me and sighed in relief before saying “I’ll pick you up at seven. Where do you live?”

I smiled and replied “2611 Meadowbrook. Apartment building 2. Buzz for apartment 3.”

He nodded in understanding and said “I-I guess I’ll see you tonight then.” I nodded smiling shyly and he glanced at my lips once more before pecking them softly and taking his leave. He waved to me as he left and I couldn’t help but wave back even though my heart was going 100 miles per minute. 

When he was out of view I slumped against my door and mumbled out in realisation “Oh my god! I’ve got a date with Cas.” I quickly got my stuff from my office before practically running off campus to my car. I drove all the way to Charlie’s work place and ran all the way up to where she worked and said breathlessly “I’ve got a date!”

She looked at me excitedly and hugged me to death before replying “Wait right here. I’m gunna go get my lunch break and then you can tell me all about it.” She ran off to tell someone she was off to her lunch break before coming back, picking up her jacket and other stuff and dragging me out the building.

I drove us to the burger place Castiel took me to a few days ago since she was bugging me to take her there and we went in. She was singing the pokémon theme tune to me while clinging to my back and I couldn’t help but laugh at her. Jo came over to us smiling and Charlie raked her eyes over Jo’s form smirking back. I rolled my eyes at Charlie and muttered under my breath “Insatiable.”

Jo asked “Who’s your friend? I would’ve thought you’d be coming here to meet with Dean and Cas.”

I shook my head and replied “Charlie is my best friend/roommate. I told her about this place and she’s been bugging me to take her here. It’s her lunch break and she wanted to come here.”

Jo nodded smiling and said “Right this way then.” Charlie continued singing badly in my ear, ignoring everyone’s faces, and I just chuckled quietly while blushing in embarrassment. I shook my head laughing and said “I’m this close to dumping your ass here and running away.”

Charlie smirked and replied “What?! No! You love me too much to do that!”

Dean and Castiel were sitting in the restaurant eating and Dean noticed us first. Jo sat us in a booth by the window since Charlie liked window seats and booths and she practically ordered Jo to put us there. We got the menu’s and Charlie ordered our drinks. 

When Jo disappeared Charlie looked around before meeting Dean’s gaze. She smiled and waved at him and Dean waved back mouthing “What are you doing here? Thought you were at work?”

Charlie frowned at him and went over to them leaving me behind to just look outside. She rolled my eyes seeing I hadn’t even noticed she was gone and quickly came back to drag me over. Once she got me over there she said “As I was saying. It’s my lunch break and I happen to love burgers. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about so Y/n came and got me. Now Dean who’s your cute friend?”

That’s when I was blushing hard again. Castiel smiled at me while Dean replied “That’s Cas. He’s the new physics professor at the college. He’s also my best pal.”

Charlie nodded and extended her hand to him saying “I’m Charlie, Y/n’s cool game developer roommate/best friend. Not to mention I’m a pokémon master starting as of tomorrow!”

She looked to me while shaking Castiel’s hand and asked “You going to say hi or just stand there embarrassed?”

I replied “I’m good just standing here awkwardly.”

Charlie nodded and Castiel asked “So you’re Y/n’s roommate I heard so much about?”

Charlie smiled and replied “Yup. Now if you’ll excuse us we need to eat and I need to get that waitress’s number.”

She smiled at Jo from across the restaurant and I shook my head saying “Again, you are insatiable! What happened to Gilda?!”

She frowned at me and replied “ It’s complicated with Gilda. We’re not exactly in a working and open relationship yet but we’re close and I want some intimacy.”

I sighed and shook my head disapprovingly before mumbling “Well maybe if you and Gilda talked for once instead of scarring me for life every fucking night you’d get somewhere.”

Charlie chuckled and said “We do have some fun together don’t we?”

I scrunched my nose up in distaste and replied “A little too much fun if you ask me. I don’t need to be hearing ‘please mistress spank me’ every night!”

She smirked wickedly at me and Dean asked “Seriously? I thought you were going through a Ma'am phase?”

Charlie shrugged and replied “Gilda was getting frisky. It was a fun night. Not so fun for Y/n. She threw pillows and blankets at me in the morning and then she threatened to lock me out the apartment for the night.”

Dean laughed and said “Wow, so that’s why you were so grumpy this morning?”

I nodded with pursed lips before replying “Pretty much. Now if you excuse us I’m hungry and our drinks are coming.” Charlie waved at them and I muttered a quick goodbye before she was dragging us back to our booth.

She smiled at me and asked quietly “So that’s the hunky professor you like? Was he the one that told you he wanted to go out with you? Did he ask you out today? Is he the guy?”

I blinked at her as she excitedly looked at me and replied “Calm down. Yes that’s him and yes he told me he wanted to go out with me and yes he’s the guy that asked me out today. He kinda ambushed me at my office. He literally dragged me there when I tried to run off before telling me to stop avoiding him and then he kissed me and then asked me out.”

She squealed excitedly and asked “How was the kiss? Was it dreamy? Was it perfect?! Was it full of fiery orgasm building passion?! Was it dominating?”

I laughed at her enthusiasm and replied “The kiss was perfect. It was soft and slightly cautious at first but it had an underlying passion to it. You know? The type of passion that just kinda simmers there leaving you a little light headed. The kiss wasn’t really deep enough to have a dominating and submissive feel to it. It was a chaste kiss, one of those first kisses that just underlines the feelings there. It was like having your first kiss all over again.”

She sighed and smiled dreamily at me before saying “It’s not fair, how come Gilda can’t be that perfect?”

I patted her head gently seeing her big puppy dog eyed pouty face and Jo came over with our food and drinks we had ordered. I had the same burger as last time and Charlie had the biggest burger in the place. I chuckled as she tried taking a huge bite of it and failed miserably and took a bite of my own burger. 

Lunch was great, Charlie and I talked about computing and how I was in dire need of a professor for our games development course. Charlie had told me how crap her job had gotten at the games company since her boss was a dick and wasn’t paying her right. That’s when the idea hit me and we got talking about how she’d be brilliant for the job. She had worked in teaching before and could become a professor in training so I didn’t think it was too bad. She was skeptical but I convinced her to apply at least. 

I dropped her off back at work after lunch before going back to the college for my next lecture. I was just getting into the lecture when someone knocked on the door. I told them to come in while I rambled on about something about star wars and lecture related. Castiel stood in the doorway waiting for me to finish up whatever I was talking about. When I did finish I smiled at him and asked “What can I do you for Cas?”

He smiled back and replied “I need to speak to Daniel.”

I nodded and looked at Daniel saying “Dan you finished up your notes?”

He nodded and I gestured for him to get going. He threw my stress ball back at me and said “You were saying something about Light sabers.” I nodded and continued where I left off as Castiel took Daniel outside to talk about something. 

When Daniel came back in he was smiling with a consent form in his hands. I smiled at him and filled him in what he missed while everyone else was working. I loved my job and took it seriously. My first priority was always the students graduating and getting all the knowledge they needed. Daniel needed the information he missed so it was my job to give it to him. 

Once the lecture was over I could go home for the day. I just had a few pieces of paperwork to finish off before I could go home and get ready for my date with Castiel. I was excited to say the least.

I got into my best dark red skinny jeans, navy blue strapless top and put on my best black heels. I then got out my makeup. I only put on a thin layer of makeup to make myself look a little less boring. 

When I was done I put on my leather jacket and went into the living room where Charlie was. It was 6:45 by the time I had finished. I smiled and asked her “So what do you think?”

She looked a little awestruck and replied “I think you look stunning. I mean seriously, wow.” I smiled at her looking down at myself happily before going around the apartment collecting my things like my phone, purse and keys. 

Seven O'clock rolled by and as if on cue I heard the apartment buzzer go off. I smiled at Charlie and she gave me a thumbs up before I let Castiel know I was going down to meet him. I said goodbye to Charlie before leaving for my date. I stepped outside of the building smiling as I saw Castiel in a white button up and dark denim jeans that hugged his figure in all the right places. His eyes lit up when he saw me and he looked just as awestruck as Charlie. He breathed out “So beautiful” and I blushed at the compliment. He offered me his hand and I took it giving him a shy smile.

I asked “So what are we doing tonight?”

He kissed my hand and replied “I’m taking you out to dinner and then we’ll see what happens.” I nodded and let him lead me to his ‘78 Lincoln Continental Mark V. I smiled running a hand over his car before saying “She’s beautiful. Where did you get her?”

He chuckled opening the passenger door before replying “I got her from a dealer right here in Lawrence. Dean’s Dad. At least someone understands my taste in cars. Sam says it’s crappy.”

I smiled and said “Oh, so you got it off John. He knows what he’s doing with cars. You got a good car and it’s beautiful. Also Sam’s taste in cars are muscle cars that look plastic and tacky so don’t listen to him.” I got into the car smiling at him and he quickly got in the other side. 

He drove us to a small italian restaurant. It was beautifully romantic and I couldn’t help but smile as the waiter there seated us at the best table in the restaurant. 

Now you know those awkward first dates where you don’t know how to speak to each other, well my first date was completely different. There were a few silences when we were eating but it was comfortable and he was holding my hand the entire time, well as much as he could when he didn’t need both his hands. Conversations flowed nicely between us and his compliments just rolled off his tongue like silk. By the end of dinner I was fairly certain my all consuming crush on him had turned into a crippling all consuming love. He paid like the gentleman he was, even though I insisted on paying, and then he took me for a walk. 

We were in the most romantic part of town and every step we took together I fell deeper for him. He was confident in ways I wished I was, he had a charm that made me melt and a smile that would put the happiest guy in the world to shame. As we walked along we talked about our families, what we liked and he told me why he found me beautiful. He was also a hopeless romantic apparently and I loved that even more. 

When we returned to his car I felt happier than I had been in a long time. He took me home holding my hand the entire time. We walked to my door holding hands and I honestly couldn’t help myself. I bit my lip and asked “Cas, would you like to come in?”

He smiled brightly at me and replied “I’d love to.” I smiled leading him into the apartment and cringed slightly hearing the distant moans of Charlie. He just chuckled and asked “So that’s what you meant?”

I laughed and replied “Oh it’ll get worse. Just you wait.” He nodded in understanding and I closed the door before locking it and making sure the alarm system was on. Even if he did leave I wasn’t taking any chances, I had always been like that. 

We walked into the living room and I asked “So do you want coffee, beer or wine?”

He sat down on the sofa and replied “Surprise me.” I rolled my eyes at the mischievous glint in his eyes and went to the kitchen to pour us two glasses of wine. When I got back I sat next to him and gave him the glass. I took off my heels and tucked my feet under my legs before taking a sip of wine. He smiled and said “You have a nice apartment.”

I smiled and replied “Thanks. I try my best to keep this place tidy but as you can see we have some rather unique stuff here so it takes a while. Still it’s nice to have the place presentable.” He moved a little closer to me and I turned my face towards him not realising he was literally inches from me. His lips were so close to mine now. I put down my glass of wine just as he pressed his lips to mine kissing me softly as if he was giving me to the chance to back out. I melted into the kiss letting him continue his ministrations. His hands wandered up my leg, giving my thigh a gentle squeeze as he deepened the kiss making me moan into his mouth. 

Before long the gentle kiss had turned into one of the most passionate and heated make out sessions I had ever had. He was a damn good kisser. He pulled away, making me whimper at the loss, and he smirked while running his thumb over my slightly swollen lips before saying lustfully “Why don’t we take this to the bedroom?”

I nodded before getting up and taking his hand in mine. We downed the rest of our wine before haphazardly stumbling towards my room already eager to rid each other of clothing. 

Once we were behind my door he was off like a rocket. He pinned me to my door kissing, sucking, nibbling and biting at my neck leaving as many marks as he could on me. I moaned softly with each bite and tugged at his hair whimpering as I felt him slowly grinding into my sex making me wetter and wetter for him. 

His hands skimmed down my top until they came to the hem. He stepped back slightly, removing my top from me and then making quick work of my jeans. I kissed him desperately letting his tongue fuck into my mouth, with a hunger I had never gotten from any other man before, while fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. 

Once I had managed to rid him of his shirt I ran my hands over his tanned and toned body before letting my hands wander lower to the v of his hips. I smiled against his mouth as I dipped my hand into his jeans and palmed his rock hard cock making him moan filthily into my mouth and pull me against him for hungrier kissing. 

He managed to move us to my bed before pushing me back onto it and slowly ridding himself of his jeans and boxers. I bit my lip eyeing his rather impressive cock. It had to be at least seven maybe eight inches and it had an impressive girth to it too. I don’t think I had ever taken someone that big but damn did it arouse me. 

His eyes were now black except from the slither of blue outlining his pupils and he was breathing heavily while looking positively primal. Damn him for being so incredibly sexy. My panties were soaked through and I was practically drooling over the size of his cock. 

He smirked and hovered over me before practically ripping my panties off me and ridding me of the bra quicker than anything I had ever seen. His lips travelled down my body slowly but surely leaving a hot trail of hickeys and bites in their wake. His hands wandered over my body groping and feeling anything and everything he could, making goosebumps appear all over me as I felt my skin turn to molten lava under his touch. 

By the time he was finished I was a puddle of whimpers and moans desperately waiting for him to fuck me. He smirked against my lips, leaving one last searing kiss to my lips and asking huskily and out of breath “Where do you keep your condoms?”

I panted out “Nightstand, first drawer.” He reached over and fumbled with the box to get himself one before ripping open the packet with precision and rolling the condom down his length. 

He spread my legs for him before gently slipping two fingers into my throbbing wet sex. He groaned happily and purred “So wet for me, so perfect.” I moaned in response as he gave my clit a quick but firm rub and watched as he slipped his fingers out of me and into his mouth moaning when he tasted me. He licked his lips before settling himself between my legs and asking with a purr “Ready Sweetheart?”

I nodded and breathed out “More than ready.” He pushed in slowly savouring the feeling and I couldn’t help but moan with him as I felt his huge cock stretch and fill me. When he was fully sheathed I clenched around him moaning at how perfect he felt inside me. He groaned in response before pulling out nearly all the way out and slamming back in making me cry out in pleasure and grip onto him for dear life. 

I wrapped my legs around him as he set a punishing pace leaving me no room to breathe, only moan and beg for more. His thrusts got deeper and harder as we both got lost in each other and before I knew it that familiar tension was building inside me. 

I whimpered as I felt it ready to burst and he hushed me gently before groaning out “Cum for me Y/n. I want to feel you cum on my cock alone”. I moaned at that and he snapped his hips even harder into me making me fall over the edge spiralling into my orgasm. 

I cried his name in ecstasy and gripped his back harder as his thrusts became erratic and sloppier. He throbbed inside of me before stilling momentarily and spilling himself into the condom, groaning my name savagely above me. 

He rode us through our orgasms before we both came down. He pulled out of me, careful of my oversensitivity, before getting up to dispose of the condom and coming back, only to flop down next to me and pull me into him so we could cuddle. He obviously liked to cuddle. I smiled sleepily at him and rested my head on his chest as I slowly drifted off to him rubbing small circles into my hips. He pulled my duvet over us before going to sleep himself, sated and happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings : Fluff, brief mentions of Charlie’s relationship and sex life, brief smut

I groaned hearing Charlie’s usual music, blasting through the apartment, and looked around blurry eyed. I yawned before reaching out for my glasses and putting them on so I could look around properly. I smiled remembering the events of the night before and then chuckled seeing Castiel was pouting, trying his hardest to fight consciousness. I kissed his nose making him whine at me and pull me closer. I felt at peace then and there, in the arms of Castiel, just watching the sun filter through my curtains. 

The music got louder and I heard Castiel groan in displeasure as the music lured him back to consciousness. He blinked a few times, after his eyes opened, and looked around before his eyes settled on me. He held me a little tighter and smiled down at me as I watched the colours of the sun change and stretch across the room. He kissed into my hair, making me look up at a sleepy Castiel. I smiled at him before giving him a lazy kiss and gently coaxing him to let go of me so I could get up. Once I was up I put on a pair of panties and stole Castiel’s shirt. He sat up, smiling as I put it on, before watching me stretch. I opened my curtains letting the sun in more and said “Bathroom is through that door and the living space is where all the music is. Beware, you’ll probably see Charlie dancing around in the kitchen. It’s not a pretty sight.” He chuckled and I gave him one last kiss before I went to see what the hell Charlie was doing. 

I wandered into the living space and saw Charlie making pancakes with music full blast through our speakers. I smiled seeing Gilda making coffee and asked “Why is it that I always wake up to music and food?”

Charlie smiled not even looking at me and replied “Hey, if I didn’t do this you’d never wake up.”

Gilda smirked at me before giving me my coffee mug and asking “Anyone else want coffee?”

I shrugged and replied “I don’t know. Ask him yourself.” Castiel yawned wandering into living space completely shirtless. He was wearing his jeans even though they did hang low and gave me a wonderful view of his happy trail, that I was very sure Gilda and Charlie didn’t appreciate as much as I did. 

He smiled coming over to the kitchen and Charlie finally looked up from where she was adding chocolate chips to the pancakes. She smirked and said “Oh so he is still here. Good that I made loads of pancake mix this morning then, isn’t it?”

Gilda hummed in agreement and asked him “Do you want coffee? I just put a fresh pot on.”

Castiel nodded and replied with a tired sigh “I’d love coffee.” Gilda smiled at him and gave him a mug. I sat down at the breakfast bar and he sat next to me. I passed him the milk and sugar and he happily added it to his coffee. Charlie asked me “So you know you wanted me to apply for that professor job? How do I fill in the part that asks me about my teaching experiences?”

I took a sip of my coffee and replied “You have some experience so just put down what you’ve done in teaching.This application goes to my boss but if you put me as one of your references then I’ll give you a good word. You’re one of the best programmers out there Charlie and you’re a good teacher, you’d have a good dynamic with the students too and you’d get better pay for goodness sakes.”

She nodded in understanding and Gilda asked “Wait, you’re applying to the university to become a professor?”

Charlie nodded and Gilda smirked continuing “Maybe you’ll learn to be a little more in control.”

I rolled my eyes and Charlie smiled at me before asking “When did you get in last night anyway?”

I replied “I dunno but it definitely was before you brought out the whips.” Gilda smirked remembering what I was talking about and Charlie went scarlet red.

Gilda asked changing the subject “So who’s your friend Y/n?”

I smiled and replied “This is Castiel. He’s a physics professor at the university.”

Castiel smiled at Gilda and she smiled at him saying “I’m Gilda. Nice to meet you Castiel.”

Castiel smiled back and replied “Nice to meet you too. Thank you for the coffee.”

Charlie asked “So what are your plans for lunch today?”

I replied “We’re not going to that burger joint. I don’t need you making Jo uncomfortable with your flirting.”

Gilda asked “Oh so she’s flirting with other girls now? Funny, I didn’t hear about this.” I smirked at Charlie and Charlie pouted at me as Gilda whispered something in her ear. 

Once Charlie was finished with the pancake batter she started cooking up the pancakes and piling them on top of each other. By the time she was finished there were plenty of pancakes there for everyone. 

I felt Castiel’s hand take mine and entwine our fingers as Charlie dished up our breakfast and I couldn’t help but smile. I took another sip of coffee letting the warm liquid go through my system and warm me up. 

I found it kinda adorable that instead of syrup he smothered his pancakes in honey. Charlie shook her head in disapproval and said “Cas you’re supposed to put syrup on pancakes, not honey.”

He just smiled and replied “You have your way of eating pancakes, I have mine.” I chuckled and Gilda passed me my warmed up chocolate sauce I liked.

I poured it over the pancakes and Castiel asked “You have chocolate sauce?”

I nodded and replied “I’m not a fan of syrup and honey is for porridge.” He smiled and tucked into his breakfast one handed. Conversation flowed easily between all of us and Gilda seemed to like Castiel as much as Charlie did. I was just waiting for the sexual innuendo to come but it didn’t.

When we finished breakfast I helped Charlie wash up and Gilda and Castiel sat at the island watching us. She smiled and asked “So why Y/n?" 

He looked at her slightly confused and she continued "Why did you pick Y/n out of the many women in the world?”

He smiled lovingly at me and replied “She’s beautiful and it’s not just on the outside. She’s beautiful through to her soul. She’s kind, extremely brave, she helps anyone she can and she doesn’t back down even when it seems like the easier move to make. No one else is like that.”

Gilda smiled at that and said “Welcome to the family Castiel. I hope I’ll be seeing more of you around here.” Castiel smiled and watched as Charlie and I messed around. We got slightly childish when soap bubbles were involved and frankly I had forgotten we had company.

Castiel asked with a chuckle “Are they always like this?”

Gilda smiled and replied “Sadly yes. Welcome to my world.”

Castiel nodded and asked “So you’re Charlie’s girlfriend?”

Gilda laughed lightly and replied “You could call me that. Our relationship is more physical than emotional but I do enjoy her company too. We’re trying to work through a few things. She’s confused about how she feels about me and I just want to keep our relationship to strictly friends with benefits.” Castiel nodded in understanding and Charlie started squealing as her favourite song came on. She took my hands and started dancing me around the kitchen. I laughed with her as she sang horribly and Gilda and Castiel just watched smiling. 

When we were finished washing up I dragged Castiel back to my room to get dressed. I had to get to work soon and I knew he did too so he needed to go home and get ready. Once he got his shirt back he slipped it over his head and watched me get changed for work. I got out my brush and sighed saying “Right, today you will not get stuck in the jungle I call my hair.” He chuckled just watching as I tackled brushing my hair. By the time I managed to finish brushing it my brush was covered in my hair. I took it out and put it in my bin hating every moment of it. I then put my hair up into a ponytail except from the pieces that were too short. They dangled down the front of my face, shaping it. Castiel came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me before saying “I’m assuming the date last night went well.”

I hummed in contentment, as he gently places kisses over the hickeys and bite marks forming on my neck, before replying “Very well.”

He smiled and asked “Would you like to go out again? I’m free tomorrow tonight if that works for you?.”

I kissed him softly and replied “I can do tomorrow." 

When he was ready to go we spent about five minutes just trying to say goodbye to each other at the door. When we did finally part ways I closed the door and leant on it biting my lip at how bad I fallen for him already. Oh it was going to be an interesting relationship.

* * *

It had been four months and Castiel and I were going pretty strong. I was definitely in love with him. Him and his damn personality that just made me smile. He could go from completely stone faced to an utter emotional puppy in five seconds and it always made me smile because he was never stone faced around me. I never got to see him all cold and shut off towards me. He was always honest with me and I loved that, I could trust him and that meant a lot to me. 

I was currently lying in bed feeling like my head was about to explode. It was throbbing like mad, I had a really runny nose and my throat felt like sandpaper. I groaned trying to sit up and failing miserably, as the world started spinning, before giving up and calling in sick to work. I felt cold all over one moment and boiling hot the other, which was a real pain. 

My phone started going off so I fumbled around for it. When I finally got hold of it I answered it in a stuffy hoarse voice "Hello?”

Castiel replied “Y/n? Are you alright sweetheart? You sound terrible.”

I sniffled and said “I feel terrible. I’m not going into work. I’ve already called in sick and left cover for my lectures.”

He sighed and replied “I’ll be there in half an hour. Just sit tight Baby.”

I pouted and said “No, you go to work. I’ll be fine by myself.”

He huffed and replied “I’m coming around to look after you whether you like it or not. I’ll call into work and say I’ve got to take a day off for personal reasons. I’ll be over in half an hour, okay Sweetheart?”

I huffed at his stubbornness before grumbling back “Fine but only because it’s a really sweet gesture.” I could practically feel his smile through the phone.

He chuckled and said “Okay Sweetheart. Try and get some rest, I’ll be there soon.” With that he hung up, leaving me alone in my room again. I tried falling asleep, I honestly did but it just didn’t happen. Everytime I was close I found I couldn’t breathe and would start coughing my guts up. 

When Castiel got to me Charlie was in the kitchen making breakfast. Her and Gilda had broke it off after Charlie confessed she wanted a real relationship from her. Gilda wasn’t looking for that.

Charlie looked at Castiel confused and asked “Shouldn’t you be at work? Shouldn’t Y/n be awake by now?”

Castiel sighed and replied “She’s sick. I’m here to take care of her.”

Charlie nodded in understanding and said “Oh. Looks like I’ll be covering for her then. Tell her I’ll be home at around seven. I have a lot of marking to get through.” Charlie had got the job at the university and was now a professor. It was wonderful. 

She smiled at Castiel as he put down a bag of groceries and asked “What’s all that?”

He smiled back and replied “Medicine, ingredients for chicken noodle soup, tissues, chocolate and ice cream.”

Charlie chuckled and said “You do too much for her. She’d be fine with just ibuprofen and a few movies.”

He rolled his eyes and replied “I’m just being a good boyfriend. She’s ill and I want to take care of her. She deserves to be treated good. She’ll get her ibuprofen and movies just with a few added extras.” She laughed and started helping him put everything away before he got me a glass of water and two ibuprofen tablets. He came into my bedroom to find me in a duvet cocoon pouting. He chuckled and asked “How you feeling Sweetheart? Any better?”

I shook my head and replied sniffling “It’s hard to breathe, my throat is literally sandpaper, my head’s going to explode from the throbbing and I’m currently switching from being ice to a volcano.”

He took out a thermometer and said “Open wide.” I opened my mouth, used to this treatment from my brother, and he stuck the thermometer in my mouth taking my temperature. He put the water on the nightstand with the ibuprofen before waiting so he could see my temperature. 

When it had been a few minutes he took the thermometer out my mouth and said “It’s really high. You’ve definitely got a temperature. Take these for me and I’ll go get you a cold damp cloth for your head.” I nodded taking the ibuprofen tablets with the water and he left to go get a damp cloth. 

When he came back he placed a cold cloth on my head, making me whine at the temperature. He just chuckled and said “Stop whining. It’ll make you feel better.” I pouted at him and he just kissed my nose making me scrunch my face up. Before I knew it he was carrying me in my duvet cocoon into the living space. He put me down on the sofa and asked “Wanna watch a movie?”

I nodded leaning on the pillow he brought from my room. He put on the Avengers knowing it was my favourite movie before going off into the kitchen to do something. I rolled around in my cocoon and watched him. He was making soup. I smiled softly at that and couldn’t help but feel cared for. He was doing this all for me just because I had the flu. I had the best boyfriend ever. 

He looked over at me and saw I was watching him. He smiled at me before going back to what he was doing and asking “Am I really that interesting? I would’ve thought watching all those men in spandex would be more interesting.”

I smiled at him brighter and replied “You’re cuter.”

He chuckled and asked “But still not as handsome as Thor?”

I smirked and replied “I’d trade Thor for you any day.”

He smiled at that and said “Good, I’m glad I don’t have to compete with fictional characters." 

I watched him make me soup gently humming out the songs from the Avengers and when the soup was cooking he came over and sat behind me in my cocoon. He checked my temperature again and said "You’re not as hot as you were before so that’s good. How’s your head Sweetheart?”

I nuzzled into his chest and replied “It’s better now. I can’t breathe very well though.” He nodded in understanding and took out some cold medicine that would help with my throat and stuffy nose.

I shook my head as he tried to get me to take it and he just pouted at me saying “You’ve got to take it Baby, it’ll make you feel better.”

I pouted back at him and replied “It’s yucky though.” He scowled at me, giving me that stern look that always made me cave. I opened my mouth and he spoon fed me the horrible liquorice tasting liquid. I made a face at him once I was finished showing him my displeasure and he just rolled his eyes at me and positioned himself behind me once more.

For the rest of the day he pampered me and made sure I was taken care of and I couldn’t help but feel loved and cared for. He was also my permanent cushion that day and to be fair it was his own fault for sitting behind me in the first place. 

The cold medicine made me drowsy so I was getting sleepy throughout the day. I yawned as the evening started coming and started drifting off on my cuddly boyfriend. He smiled down at me lovingly and I smiled back before mumbling out “Thank you for taking care of me today. You’re the best boyfriend ever. I love you.”

He tensed for a second realising what I had said before breaking out into the biggest grin I had ever seen and replying “I love you too Sweetheart. It’s my job to take care of you, don’t thank me.” I smiled letting sleep consume me and he sat back, rubbing my hip soothingly as I slept. It was the first time we had said I love you to each other and he was happy because he loved me more than anything. 

When Charlie came back she found me cuddled up on Castiel in my cocoon fast asleep. She chuckled and asked “You got her to sleep?! Wow.”

He smiled and replied “The cold medicine I gave her made her drowsy. There’s soup on the stove if you want some. There’s plenty left over.”  She hummed in understanding and went towards the kitchen to get herself some of the soup. Castiel’s soup was amazing, he was a really good cook. 

Once she had her soup she sat down on the armchair we had and asked “So how was she? Usually she gets all childish and pouty.”

Castiel chuckled and replied “She was childish and pouty like you just said and she seems to get bossy when she’s ill.”

Charlie nodded and said “Yeah but you can’t say she’s not cute. She’ll make a cocoon and just stay in it for days on end. It’s kinda adorable.”

He laughed lightly and replied “She is rather adorable when she’s ill.”

My phone started buzzing and Charlie answered it saying “Hey Jason.” My brother was calling me. Castiel hadn’t heard much about Jason but then again I wasn’t that good at talking about my family. Charlie chuckled and said “Nah she’s ill and actually sleeping.” She hummed in understanding to Jason’s lecture on what she should do and said “It’s all good. She’s had medicine, her breathing sounds clear, no wheezing. She’s fine Jason. She’s in good hands." 

When Jason hung up she put my phone back on the coffee table and said to Castiel "That was her brother. He calls every other night. He gets worried when she gets ill. He’s a Doctor.”

Castiel nodded in understanding and replied “I didn’t know her brother was a Doctor.”

Charlie smiled and said “Don’t worry Cas. Y/n isn’t a big talker. She’ll only mention things if they’re relevant. If you really wanna know more about her just ask. She’ll tell you, she just doesn’t speak about it unless she has to.” Castiel nodded, taking that into consideration and Charlie put on another movie seeing as I was stirring. Castiel was still preoccupied with thinking about the confessions of love. He didn’t know if I’d remember it and he wanted me to but he knew that I may not because of the medicine. It made him a little upset to think of that.

* * *

A few weeks later once I was feeling a hundred percent again I had noticed Castiel had been more tense around me. I never breathed a word about saying I love you to him because I didn’t remember his reply. What I didn’t know was that he was waiting for me to mention it again so he could be sure that I meant it and remembered it. I kissed him softly as he went to go to his lecture after lunch and asked “Are you coming around tonight?”

He smiled lovingly at me and replied “No, I’m going out with Dean. I’ll come around tomorrow though if you want.”

I smiled and said “I’d love that. Now go or you’ll be late for your lecture.” He kissed me once more before very reluctantly leaving. I shook off the feeling that he was hiding something from me and went to my own lecture. He would tell me what’s wrong when he’s ready to. It wasn’t a big deal. Well that’s what I told myself.

It was one O'clock in the morning and I had just finished a load of marking. I was just about to fall asleep when someone knocked on the door. I groaned, forcing myself out of bed and going to answer the front door. I opened it a little and saw a drunk Dean and Castiel. I sighed and opened the door properly. Castiel gave me a drunk grin and slurred out “My love, my life, my world.”

I blushed slightly and asked “What are you two doing here at one O'clock in the morning?”

Dean slurred back “We’re very drunk and don’t want to drive so Cas suggested we come to you. Genius plan.” I sighed again and let them both in. I set Dean up on the sofa before turning around and being tackled into a hug by my drunk boyfriend. He mumbled into my shoulder “Love you so much. Love you more than fucking anything Y/n.”

I smiled running my fingers through his unruly hair and replying “I love you too Cas. Now come on, we need to get you to bed Mister.” He smirked and I rolled my eyes knowing exactly what he thought I meant. Castiel always got extremely handsy and horny when he was drunk but he also turned into a ball of mush, it was adorable. I continued “Not for that. You need sleep, you drunk professor.” I dragged him to my room as he left open mouthed sloppy kisses on my neck and shoulder. I gently laid him down on my bed and started removing his clothes, which he took to mean that we were going to have sex. I stopped him as he went to take an old t-shirt, of his I used for bed, off me and he just pouted at me. I kissed his nose and said softly “We’re not doing that tonight. You’re drunk and need sleep.”

He whined and replied slurring slightly “But I wanna take care of you. I don’t wanna sleep yet. I want you, need you, Love you!”

I sighed and continued removing his clothes as he sulked at me. When he was in his boxers I stopped and went to move away but he pulled me down and flipped us so I was beneath him. I frowned at him and said “Cas, you need sleep. We can do this when you’re sober.”

He frowned and replied “Please, I’ll show you how much I love you. Just once and then we can sleep.” I pouted at him slightly before agreeing knowing he wouldn’t let it drop if I didn’t let him. He smiled and happily removed the rest of our clothes. 

I expected him to be impatient and fast but no he was slow and sensual strangely. He took his time mapping out every inch of my body with his hands and mouth before gently easing his condom covered length into me. He held my hands as he pulled out ever so slowly and pushed back in just as slow. He did this for a while just giving me slow rhythmic thrusts that drew moan after moan from me. 

I was slowly turning into a puddle of gibberish and moans underneath him as he slowly brought me to my climax. He kissed me slow and deep, making me feel every movement and every emotion he was putting into it and I couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. 

He picked up his pace just a little making me moan out louder and beg for more. He always managed to get me to beg. He loved it when I begged. He had a few kinks and one of them was that he loved to hear me beg. He also liked to spank, not that I was complaining though. He would never go overboard or do it too hard, just enough to make me incredibly sexually frustrated with him. 

He kept up his slow pace until I was on the verge of my climax. At that point he snapped his hips forwards sharply, hitting my g-spot perfectly and making me cry out as my orgasm rolled through me like gentle yet powerful waves in the ocean. His thrusts stilled as he went over the edge too with my name leaving his lips like a prayer. 

When we both came down he slipped out of me and disposed of the condom before getting into bed with me and kissing me lovingly. I felt him purring against me as I rested my head on his chest and he mumbled out sleepily “I love you”. I couldn’t help but smile even with exhaustion overcoming me.

I nuzzled against him and replied “Love you too.” He smiled, drifting off to sleep, and hugging me closer to him and I let sleep consume me with dreams of my boyfriend filling my mind. He loved me and I loved him. I hoped we would last forever, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get over him if we weren’t together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings : Angst! Mild swearing. Angst. Cute little girl asking all the real questions

A year, one whole year of dating Castiel. It was pretty amazing if you ask me. I was terrible with relationships, ask anybody, but I had one of the best fucking relationships ever with my blue eyed professor. So obviously that just had to come to an end because the universe fucking hates me.

It all started when a new guy Raphael came to the university. He was a new professor in my department and he was determined to get my attention. Now I knew Castiel was the jealous type but I wasn’t prepared for what happened. Let me talk you through what happened.

I walked into the usual week briefing on Monday morning with Charlie and the first thing I saw was Raphael sitting in my seat. I didn’t like it when people sat in my spot, it made me feel lost. Charlie just dragged me over to another seat and the briefing started. Throughout the whole briefing he was staring at me and it made me uncomfortable but I didn’t think anything of it. 

Once the briefing was over I went straight to my first lecture of the day. As usual I stayed in my classroom until lunch but as soon as I stepped outside the classroom I was ambushed by Raphael. He smirked at me as he caged me between the wall and him and said “I hear you’re the girl to go to if you need help finding your way around the college.”

I replied slightly bitterly “I’m sorry but I don’t know who you are or what you hope to achieve but I’m busy so could you just move.” He just laughed and went to move closer. I turned my head to the side refusing to go closer to him and that’s when Castiel ripped the guy off me. Like I said Castiel was the jealous type. He pinned Raphael to the opposite wall and growled “If you ever do that again I will make you hurt in ways you didn’t even know you could!”

Raphael just smiled smugly and replied “Of course.” Castiel let go of him not wanting to cause a scene before dragging me off for lunch. I looked back at Raphael and shuddered uneasily seeing he was waving and smirking sickly at me. I moved closer to Castiel not liking the feeling Raphael gave me and Castiel immediately wrapped his arm around me. I could practically feel the possessiveness rolling off him. 

As soon as we were in the restaurant Castiel was on me, kissing the life out of me. When he pulled away I smiled softly at him and said “You don’t have to put on a dominance display, I’m yours silly.”

He breathed back “I didn’t like how close that guy was to you. Who was he anyway?”

I pecked his lips and answered “He’s the new professor in our department and he gives me the creeps. Now are you going to get off me so Jo can actually put our drinks down or are you going to stay here and give me more of a dominance display?”

He smirked slightly and kissed me passionately once more before moving away so Jo could put down our drinks. She smiled at us and said “Seriously guys, this is a family restaurant.”

I rolled my eyes and replied “We weren’t doing anything.”

She scoffed and said “That’s not what it looks like to me but hey, what do I know. Maybe people start sucking each other’s faces off in public all the time?”

She winked at us before leaving to go serve another table. The whole of lunch Castiel was being overly affectionate just so he could make his point. 

I hoped Raphael had got the message when Castiel took me back to my classroom and kissed me until my head was spinning in front of him.

He didn’t.

Raphael had started harassing me every day for a whole month, driving Castiel up the wall with jealousy. I don’t think I had ever went to work with so many hickey’s in my entire life but then again I had never had a guy like Castiel. I learned that my boyfriend was the most possessive bastard out there when a guy got too close to me one time and Castiel scared him to death for it. Most girls would be put off by that but I loved it. He’d get scary with others but to me he’d get all mushy and clingy. It was beautiful. I don’t think anything about him put me off. Okay so maybe the fact he eats toothpaste sometimes and devours burgers like nothing else in the world matters is slightly disgusting but no one’s perfect. 

I walked into work with Castiel holding my hand and I couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed by how many people were looking at us. So Castiel had left hickeys and bite marks all over my neck and made sure I had them all on show. He was happy though.

When we reached my classroom Raphael was lurking around like usual. He smiled at me and said “Y/n! I’m glad I caught you. I wanted to ask you if I could come with you on that trip to Bletchley park in England? I mean you need another professor to go with you right? and we could go out and get to know each other too. It would be brilliant.”

I gave him a tight lipped smile and replied “I’m taking Charlie. It’s already been approved by the head of department.”

He nodded pursing his lips in displeasure before asking “Well we could still go out and get to know each other? I mean we’ve been classroom neighbours for a month now, it’s like you’re avoiding me.” Castiel’s grip on me tightened slightly and I could practically feel the possessiveness radiating off him now.

He smiled bitterly and replied “Y/n’s busy, aren’t you Sweetheart?”

I nodded and Castiel continued “Now if you excuse us we’re leaving.” I felt Castiel drag me into my classroom before Raphael could even argue and before I knew it Castiel’s lips were on mine dominating me completely. I ran my fingers through his hair soothing the anger I could feel coming off of him. He leant his forehead on mine once he pulled away before gently nuzzling his way into my neck. I hugged him tightly whispering “I’m yours Cas, don’t feel threatened by some guy who won’t take a hint.”

He nuzzled into me more before replying “I-I’ll try. Have a good day Sweetheart. I’ll meet you in your office at lunch.” I nodded, pecking his lips goodbye before he took his leave. He got so worked up over Raphael and his endless pursuits and I knew he worried he was losing me but he so wasn’t. 

My lectures went well that morning and when I went to go to my office to get ready for lunch Raphael was nowhere to be seen. When I got into my office I put my jacket on ready to go when Castiel got there and when I turned around Raphael was there. He smirked wickedly before trapping me in his arms and forcing me to kiss him. I tried to push him away but he was stronger than me. Just as he pulled away I saw Castiel there looking both heartbroken and so angry he was near to drawing blood from his palms. His fists were clenched ready to throw punches but his eyes were full of pain. I went to say it meant nothing but Raphael smiled bitterly at Castiel and said “Oh you weren’t supposed to know about this.” I looked at Raphael wide eyed with shock and when I looked back to Castiel he was no longer there. I pushed Raphael away from me and growled “You realise I’m going to tell the head of department and file a harassment charge against you! Now get out before I beat you to a pulp too!”

He laughed as if I was kidding before leaving me alone in my office. I quickly ran out to go find Castiel and found him walking across the courtyard to his office. I ran over to him calling his name and he quickly spun around and pushed me away from him as I went to grab his arm. Tears came to my eyes and I explained “H-He ambushed me, don’t be mad! It meant nothing Cas! Please don’t be mad.”

He shook his head with tears in his eyes and growled back “I thought you loved me! I thought we’d be together forever! I thought you were faithful to me!”

I cried “I am faithful to you! I do love you! Please baby you’ve got to know he wasn’t telling the truth! You’ve got to believe me Cas, please. I love you!”

He shook his head in disapproval and said coldly “I can’t love someone who isn’t faithful and honest with me. We’re over and don’t bother talking to me again, I won’t answer.” Tears ran down my cheeks as I stood there frozen, watching the love of my life walk away from me without a hint of love for me left in him. 

Charlie found me still frozen there on the floor crying and begging him to come back. She took me into her arms, whispering that everything was going to be okay but it wasn’t. I wanted my Castiel back, I wanted my blue eyed boyfriend to come take me in his arms and tell me that everything was going to be fine and that we were fine but it didn’t happen. He wasn’t going to come, he didn’t love me anymore.

* * *

So here I am five months later still missing him with all my heart but I couldn’t tell him that. He had a girlfriend now. He had moved on from me and he looked happy. I didn’t speak to him again but I’d see him around the Computing and Engineering department with Dean. Charlie and I filed the harassment charge against Raphael and he no longer worked at the university. In fact he moved out of town just so he could avoid the police and my sister in law. 

It was midterm week and I was overloaded with work. I didn’t think about Castiel, I tried not to. I kept myself immersed in my work and family. I had a three year old niece and I saw her nearly all the time now. She was my outlet now, the only time my heart felt like it wasn’t completely shattered. Her smile always made me happy. I walked into the department building with Jason and, my niece, Luna following me. Jason asked “Please Y/n? Please look after Luna for a couple of weeks? Our Nanny’s on holiday for two weeks, Rachel is away for two weeks too for that tournament and there’s an epidemic of Swine flu at the Hospital and I’m not taking Luna anywhere near there. You’re the only one I have.”

I sighed and replied “If I do this will you quit bothering me about my mental health?”

He nodded eagerly and answered “Absolutely! Now here’s her and her bag. Don’t forget about her gluten allergy!”

I nodded in understanding as he gave me Luna and her bag. He kissed her cheek and then mine before running off to work as his pager went wild.

I sighed and asked her “What am I going to do now?! I can’t take you into a midterm exam, you’ll be bored stiff and I know for a fact you won’t be able to keep quiet for an hour.”

She rested her head on my shoulder and replied “I’ll be good! I promise Aunty Y/n/n! Please?”

I sighed and started walking through the lounge area in the building. I hardly noticed Dean and Castiel standing at the reception desk looking at me as I carried Luna through the lounge with my bag bulging with papers and her bag bulging with toys and everything I needed to look after her. I smiled at her as she looked around intrigued by all the technology and Charlie came running to me. She smiled and asked “Who’s your little friend? Not a new student is it?”

I chuckled and replied “Meet Luna. She’s my niece. Not quite old enough to be a student yet, are you Turtleduck?”

She shook her head looking at Charlie shyly. I smiled at her and said “Don’t be shy Turtleduck, Charlie’s my best friend. She’s a good person and she’s fun. I bet if you asked her nicely she’d show you what all this cool stuff does while I go make sure the students here do their boring exams?”

I looked at Charlie pleadingly and she nodded at me to say she would. Luna asked shyly “Charlie will you show me what all the stuff does please?”

Charlie smiled and replied “Of course. We can get to know each other too. I bet I could tell you plenty of stories about your Aunty and Daddy.”

Luna reached out to her and I passed Luna to her saying “Uhh I’ll only need you to watch her for two hours. Here’s her bag.” Charlie nodded and took Luna’s bag before I pecked my niece’s cheek and ran off to my classroom. 

Charlie did exactly as Luna asked. She showed her all the cool tech we had. Dean and Castiel came over and Dean asked “Charlie uhh who’s the kid?”

Charlie smiled and replied “Luna. Y/n’s three year old niece. I have no idea why Y/n’s stuck watching her but she’s super busy with midterms so I’m watching her for a while.”

Castiel said slightly sad “I didn’t know Y/n had a niece.”

Charlie smiled a little bitterly and replied “There are a lot of things you never learned about Y/n but I wouldn’t dwell on it. It’s not like you two are friends or anything.” Luna came running over from where she was talking with Daniel, one of my best students, and showed off the raspberry pi she got given from him. She smiled proudly and said “Pie! I got pie!”

Charlie chuckled and replied “Yes you do. Who gave this to you Lovegood?”

Luna smiled at her new nickname and answered “Danny! He’s really nice! He gave me this and said you and Aunty Y/n/n would show me how to use it! You can’t eat it though! Does it make Raspberry pies?”

Charlie smiled softly and said “It doesn’t make pie. It makes special things called programs. Programs make apps on phones and tablets like the phone your Daddy has. Also don’t go off and talk to people, not everyone is going to be good Lovegood even if they are nice.” Luna nodded in understanding and looked at Dean and Castiel.

She smiled and said “Aunty Y/n/n has a picture of you, she doesn’t like to talk about you though. Daddy says it’s because you hurt her, why did you hurt my Aunty Y/n/n?”

Castiel looked slightly taken aback and Dean replied “It’s complicated Kiddo. Relationships are hard.”

Luna looked confused and Charlie huffed saying “Don’t start trying to teach her about that kind of stuff. She’s three years old Winchester, now take your boy toy and go. We’re busy.” Dean rolled his eyes and dragged Castiel away. Castiel didn’t show it but his heart hurt to hear that I still had a photo of him and that I didn’t talk about him because he hurt me. He shook the thought away and told himself I deserved what I got even though deep down he knew it wasn’t true. He missed me, he missed me so much but he wouldn’t admit it to himself.

When I came back to Charlie I took Luna from her and she went to supervise her class’s midterm. I had an hour until my second midterm class so in that hour I needed to find someone I trusted to take Luna for lunch. That’s when I spotted Dean. His midterm week was over and all his classes were done for the day so he was free and I trusted him. I smiled going over to him with Luna since by the time I spotted him I had ten minutes until I had to be back in class. He smiled at me and asked “What can I do you for Y/n?”

I sighed and replied “I’ve got another midterm and I need someone to take Luna to lunch so do me a huge favour and take Luna with you to lunch. Dean you’re good guy and I trust you so please, if you like me at all as a friend you will agree.” Dean sighed looking at how Luna was smiling at him before nodding in agreement and taking Luna.

She chuckled and said “Deanie-do! Can you explain what you meant by a relashionip?”

I smiled pecking Luna’s cheek and saying “Be good for Dean. I’ll come get you when I’m finished. Dean, she has a gluten allergy so don’t get her anything with gluten!”

Dean nodded as I sprinted off leaving him with Luna and her bag. He sighed as Castiel came his way with Hannah, his girlfriend, and Luna asked “Isn’t that the man who hurt Aunty Y/n/n? Why is he holding that girl’s hand? I thought he loved Aunty Y/n/n?”

Dean sighed again and replied “Kid, he does love her. He’s just being an ass and a confused puppy like usual.”

Luna nodded and when Castiel approached him and Luna he asked “Did she seriously leave you with her niece?”

Dean nodded and replied “She’s swamped with work this week and so is everyone else who teaches Computing. I don’t mind looking after her. At least now I’m not a third wheel.”

Hannah scowled at Luna and said “I don’t think Y/n should be leaving you with a brat. I mean you know what Y/n’s family are like.”

Luna looked at Dean hurt and asked “Why is the lady being mean and what does she mean?”

Dean sighed, glaring at Hannah, before replying “She’s just jealous because you’re prettier than her and you don’t need to know what she means because it’s not true. Come on, let’s get you some gluten free food to eat.”

Castiel asked “Where do you want to go eat?”

Dean replied “The burger joint has a burger without gluten right?”

Castiel nodded and Dean continued “Then we go there so I don’t get beaten to a pulp by Y/n and her brother for accidentally feeding Luna food she’s allergic to.” Castiel nodded and Hannah scoffed saying the place had terrible food. Luna was excited though. She hardly ever went out to eat. 

Castiel and Hannah went with Dean and Luna and when they got to the restaurant Jo sat them in a booth. Luna sat next to Dean in a small booster seat so she could reach the table and Dean ordered her the gluten free burger and himself a cheeseburger. Jo nodded and asked “So this is Y/n’s niece? I remember her going on about her niece last week. She said she was cute but I didn’t realise she’d be this cute and pretty.” Luna smiled and blushed slightly at Jo before Jo winked and left with their orders.

Hannah asked “So why is Y/n stuck with her niece?”

Dean shrugged and replied “I don’t know.”

Luna smiled and said “Mummy’s gone for two weeks. She’s going to beat up a load of woman and come home with a huge trophy! Daddy says there are a lot of sick people with something called Swine flu and that I’m not allowed to be there. Nanny is on holiday for two weeks so she can’t look after me so Aunty Y/n/n said she would look after me!”

Hannah scoffed and said “I doubt your Mother’s gone to beat a load of people up.”

Dean replied smiling slightly “Luna’s Mother is a boxer you Moron. She’s obviously gone to some tournament and Jason’s probably dealing with an epidemic.” Luna nodded excitedly pretending to punch people like Rachel.

Castiel asked “Wait so Y/n’s sister in law is a boxer?”

Dean nodded and replied “Rachel is a boxer. A really good one too. Also why I don’t want to have anything happen to Luna on my watch. Rather not get knocked out by a boxer.” Castiel nodded in understanding and Luna noticed Hannah take Castiel’s hand.

She asked curiously “Why did you hurt Aunty Y/n? Don’t you love her anymore? Daddy said Aunty Y/n loved you and that love goes both ways.” Hannah glared at Luna and Castiel froze at the questions.

Dean just sat back smugly and asked “Yeah Cas, don’t you love Y/n anymore?”

Luna looked at Castiel expectantly and Castiel choked out “I did love Y/n but she did something bad to me and I said some things that hurt her. We don’t love each other anymore Luna.”

Luna frowned and said “But-But people aren’t supposed to stop loving each other! Does-Does that mean Mummy and Daddy could stop loving each other?”

She looked at Dean and Castiel desperately as tears started to form in her eyes and Hannah state bluntly “Yes.” That’s when Luna burst into tears and Dean desperately tried to calm her down, glaring a hole into Hannah’s head in the progress. 

I came into the restaurant an hour late to find Luna munching on a chocolate brownie sundae happily and Hannah appeared to have a nosebleed. Dean also looked pissed. I approached them cautiously and asked tiredly “What happened?”

Luna looked up at me offering me a bite of her ice cream. I took it and smiled before Dean replied “Hannah said something out of order. Luna got upset and started crying, I punched Hannah and Luna likes her gluten free sundae. Cas also shared his enlightening advice on how people don’t stop loving each other.”

I nodded in understanding and Luna asked “Is it true that Mummy and Daddy could stop loving each other? That’s what the mean woman said.”

I smiled softly at her and replied “No Turtleduck. Your Mummy and Daddy love each other more than anything except you obviously. Your Mummy and Daddy made a promise to love each other forever. They did it with those rings on their fingers, you see them on their fingers all the time don’t you?”

She nodded and I wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes before I told her that Jason and Rachel weren’t going to stop loving each other. 

Dean asked me once Luna was calm again “How are the midterms going?”

I groaned and replied “I’ve got three more to go tomorrow and then a load of them to mark. It’s fan-flipping-tastic!”

He nodded and I gave him the money for Luna’s food. He didn’t take it and instead said “Don’t, it’s okay. We had a good time apart from me punching Hannah.” Castiel didn’t seem to care that Hannah was punched. In fact he only seemed interested in his hands.

Hannah glared at me coldly as I picked up Luna’s bag and said “Well I need to get myself something to eat and Charlie’s already over there waiting for us so thanks for looking after her.”

Dean smiled and replied “No problem. We had a good time.” Luna smiled and thanked Dean before I picked her up and took her over to where Charlie was sitting. 

I didn’t notice how Castiel was glancing over at me as I laughed with my niece. I didn’t know how he was imagining having his own child with me and getting to see me smiling at it like I was with Luna. He shook those thoughts away though, we didn’t love each other anymore. That’s what he told himself anyway. 

Luna asked me as we sat down “Do you still love Cassie?”

I glanced over to him and replied “I think it would be impossible not to Turtleduck.” She nodded as she hugged me and Charlie smiled sadly at me knowing how hard it was to see him.

Luna smiled at me and said “I won’t leave you aunty Y/n/n and Charlie’s not going to leave either. She’s your best friend remember?”

I kissed her forehead, letting a tear fall from my eyes, before replying “I know Sweetie, I know.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings : Angst, more angst and a lot of pain. Sleeping, a hell of a lot of sleeping. Emotion overload. Guilt ridden Cas. They’re still both in love and it hurts

-Castiel’s PoV-

It was all over the news. A serial killer had escaped and everyone was being advised to lock themselves indoors and stay away from downtown. The only thought that ran through my mind was that Y/n was downtown in a bar that the serial killer was spotted near. Dean had told me, he was just talking but he had told me where Y/n was going and what she was doing there. Y/n wasn’t into the bar scene but Charlie had convinced her to go with her. I hardly even remember leaving my apartment. All I could remember was the need to find and protect my Y/n. The woman I loved more than anything but let go because I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see how scared I was at the thought of her dying or being taken by a killer. I wasn’t supposed to love her, I told myself I didn’t but how could I not love her. She was so perfect and I should’ve kept her. If I hadn’t of let her go then I wouldn’t have been so worried about her being at that bar. She would’ve been with me, safe and sound, but she wasn’t because I was a complete and utter moron.

I got into my car and started driving to her, needing to go get her and bring her to safety. I didn’t see the drunk driver swerve into me until it was too late and the only words on my lips, as I saw someone on the streets approach the scene, was “Y/n!”

After that everything went black. I didn’t remember the pain of the crash or the blood. I just remembered the need to bring my Y/n to safety and failing miserably.

-Y/n’s PoV-

The Universe definitely hated me. Everyone was kicked out the bar and told to go home because a serial killer was on the loose nearby. Dean was already there waiting for Charlie and I and he took us home. As soon as I got home my phone started ringing. I answered it groggily “Hello?”

My brother replied “Y/n I need you to get to the hospital now. It’s Castiel, he was in a crash. He hasn’t woken up and we’re afraid he may not make it.” I felt everything in the room stop instantly and before I knew it I was running out the apartment with my car keys. Charlie and Dean called out for me but I wasn’t listening. Castiel was in hospital and I needed to see him. Why did my brother call me about this?! Why did it have to happen to my Castiel?! 

I practically ran into the hospital and yelled at the nurse at reception to tell me where Castiel was. My brother came into view as I was about to grab the rude receptionist by the collar and force her to tell me. He stopped me and said “Y/n! You came.” I nodded to him and he dragged me through the hospital to the intensive care ward. He led me into a private room and I froze seeing Castiel. He was hooked up to a heart monitor and a few IV drips. He had a lot of stitches everywhere, you could still see the faint blood stains all over him and to make it worse he was hooked up to a breathing apparatus. I felt tears in my eyes as Jason explained his injuries to me. They were all bad. Fractured ribs, problems with his lungs, a lot of cuts and bruises, some minor back injuries, a few heart problems and he also had a broken leg. I asked hoarsely “Why did you call me here?”

Jason replied softly “I know how much he means to you and no one on his emergency contact list was answering. I knew you’d want to know and be here so I told you. His heart is dangerously close to going into cardiac arrest. We’ve done all we can to bring it down but it will hardly budge. He’s in a lot of shock and…and according the guy who found him the last thing he said was your name.” I felt tears cascade down my cheeks without purchase of stopping and I walked over to Castiel’s lifeless form before taking his hand and sitting down. 

I wasn’t leaving until he was okay and he would be okay because the universe only hated me not him, not my perfect blue eyed love. I rubbed my thumb over his hand and gave him a watery smile. Jason sighed and said “I’ll come check on him in a few hours. Call the nurse if there’s any change.” I nodded and my brother left. I sat there for an hour just whispering words of encouragement to myself and him. 

After a while I noticed the rapid beeping of the heart monitor slowing to a calm slow beeping sound and I looked up to find his heart rate had slowed down to what it should be. He was still unconscious but he wasn’t in danger of cardiac arrest. I called for the nurses and they all looked stumped as to why his heart had finally slowed. My brother came back and tests were done on him.

When Jason was done he smiled and said “He’s not in any immediate danger now. All we can do is wait and see if he wakes up.” I nodded and Jason left. I sat back in the armchair next to Castiel’s bed and just watched him. If it wasn’t for the fact he was in a hospital and hooked up to machines you’d think he was just sleeping but no, he was unconscious and not waking up even if I begged really hard. 

After a while I fell asleep in the chair still holding his hand. I didn’t see Charlie, Sam and Dean come in. I didn’t see them place their gifts on the table and leave us alone. I didn’t see how Dean teared up seeing his friend the way he was. I just slept holding Castiel’s hand, hoping that when I woke up everything was just one cruel nightmare and he was sleeping next to me promising to never leave me again. Tears still stained my cheeks but I didn’t care. I was going to stay and I wasn’t leaving until I knew he was alright, not when I was told he was alright but when I knew.

* * *

Three days. It took him three days to wake up. It happened pretty abruptly actually. I was reading on the armchair next to him, gently clutching his hand like usual. He seemed to have a death grip on my hand and didn’t like to let go. I didn’t notice him stirring at first. I thought it was just his hand twitching but then I felt him squeeze my hand tighter and the beeping of the heart monitor got just a little bit faster as he woke up. I looked over at him and saw his eyes were fluttering open. 

He looked around extremely confused and choked realising he had a tube down his throat. I stopped him from moving and called for the nurses. One came racing in and helped Castiel get the tube out his throat before attaching an oxygen mask to him. He asked hoarsely once the nurse gave him a glass of water “Where am I? Wait-Wait, did she get home alright? Is..Is she safe?”

The nurse smiled softly and replied “Mr Novak you were in a terrible car accident. You’re in intensive care. I don’t know who you are referring to but everything’s alright sir. Let me go get Dr L/n.” She then left in a hurry to go find my brother. I sunk into my chair and Castiel looked around the room worried before his eyes focused on mine. He looked at me a little shocked and asked “You’re-You’re here?”

I nodded and smiled shyly at him before putting down my book. He sighed in relief before closing his eyes briefly and asking “Di-Did you get home safe?”

I nodded and replied “I’m presuming you’re referring to the serial killer thing. I did get home safe. Dean was waiting for Charlie and I when we all got told to go home and not leave because a serial killer had escaped from one of those FBI vans and was currently on the loose near the bar.” He nodded in understanding and my brother came bursting into the room smiling, ruining the moment like always.

He took the chart from the end of the bed and said “Mr Novak, you gave us quite the scare. Three days you’ve been out and before that you were extremely close to cardiac arrest.” Castiel nodded and my brother went over what was wrong with him. By the end of my brother’s explanation Castiel looked slightly mortified. My brother went on to tell him that he wouldn’t be leaving until they sorted out his lung problems and that could take a while. He then prescribed him a few meds for the pain before leaving us both alone again. I settled myself back into the chair and pulled the blanket, Charlie had brought me, up and over my legs again. He looked over at me and asked “Why-Why are you here?”

I smiled sadly and replied “Because I was told that you might not make it and I wasn’t going to let that happen. You mean too much to me for me to let that happen. Just because you stopped loving me doesn’t mean I stopped loving you.”

He squeezed my hand tighter and choked out “What happened to Raphael?”

I sighed and replied “Charlie and I filed a harassment charge against him, my sister in law got a little intense and he left town. I wasn’t lying when I said he ambushed me Cas, I was never cheating on you.”

He looked down at his free hand with guilt written all over his face and I smiled softly before saying “I’m gunna take a nap. I haven’t slept properly in days.” He nodded and I got comfortable on my chair before closing my eyes and forcing myself to sleep.

-Castiel’s PoV-

When I was sure she was asleep I turned my head to look at her. She had been here for three days, she was here because she loved me and didn’t want me to die. W-Why didn’t I believe her when she told me she wasn’t cheating? Why didn’t I fight for her?! She’s perfect and I broke her! I don’t deserve her love! I don’t deserve her at all! She shouldn’t be here for me, she shouldn’t love me still. I was an asshole, I still am an asshole. I don’t love Hannah, I don’t even like her as a friend. I just dated her so it would hurt Y/n, just so she’d think I was over her. I-I shouldn’t have done that, I should’ve been fighting for her. I should’ve listened to her. She trusted me with her life and I-I couldn’t even trust that she was telling the truth. I-I’m a terrible person. I deserve to die lonely and without love. 

She deserves to find someone else like Dean. Dean’s a good man, they’d be good together. M-Maybe I could suggest it to him. Maybe I could make sure he looked after her. No, I wouldn’t be able to deal with that. I’m such a terrible person that I’d be selfish enough not to let her be with anyone else. I’m so fucked up I’d take away her happiness just so I knew she’d still be mine. She should get away from me, far far away from me but no she’s here holding my hand. No one else is here, just her. I fucked up with her, I messed it all up. I should’ve never let her go. If I didn’t let her go then I wouldn’t be here writhing in pain, I wouldn’t be such an asshole, she wouldn’t be broken and I’d be able to hold her again and tell her I love her. 

I-I need to fix it, I can’t let her go on forever thinking I don’t love her, she needs to know I love her. She needs to know I never stopped. She needs to know no matter how hard I try my thoughts always go back to her, no matter how hard I push them away the thoughts of her and I just keep coming and don’t stop. She needs to know it was my fault and that she should let go of me. She needs to know I’d understand if she hated me after what I did. She just needs to know.

-Y/n’s PoV-

I woke up a few hours later to find Castiel looking at me with tears in his eyes. I wiped them away gently with the pad of my thumb so I didn’t pull on any of the stitches he had on his cheek and gave him a warm smile. He smiled weakly at me and asked “Can…Can we talk?”

I nodded curiously and replied “What do you want to talk about?”

He attempted to sit up but I stopped him saying “Cas you’re not allowed to move until they give you the green light. You’ve got some minor back problems that need to clear up before you can move from lying down or you could end up in worse shape than you are now.” He nodded in understanding and settled for looking at the ceiling.

He took a deep shaky breath and said reflectively “I never stopped loving you and I’m-I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m a terrible person Y/n. You trusted me and I couldn’t even believe that you weren’t cheating on me with the creep in your department. I-I even knew you hated him but I still didn’t believe you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t be what you deserved. What makes it worse was that to hurt you even more than I did I dated Hannah. I don’t like her at all, I just wanted you to think I’d moved on. I wanted to forget about you desperately too but I never could. I-I’m so fucked up that even now I’m thinking you should get away from me and be with someone else but all I can think about is making sure that doesn’t happen! Y-You shouldn’t be here for me, you should just go and forget I ever existed. Be happy that I’m in so much pain. I-I’m so so sorry." 

I felt tears roll down my cheeks as his eyes filled with his own and I refused to let him think those things. I refused to let him believe that I shouldn’t love him. I refused to think he wasn’t good enough for me. Yeah he was an ass at times but I loved him with all my heart and that wasn’t going to change because he was an idiot. I got up and he must’ve thought I was leaving because he let go of my hand and looked away from me, biting his lip to stop himself from making any noises. 

I leant over the bed and gently took his face in my hands, pulling it towards me so he was looking me straight in the eyes, before kissing his forehead and replying softly "Don’t you dare say anything like that again! I’m not saying we’ll get back together but I don’t want you thinking that. You’re an ass but that doesn’t mean you’re a horrible person, you’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever met and you deserve all the happiness you get so you’re going to get better and you’re going to suck it up since I’m not leaving until I know you’re better.” I wiped away his tears and sat back down smiling softly. He didn’t say anything else, he just took my hand and let exhaustion take him again. I knew he wouldn’t be able to stay awake for very long but I didn’t care. As long as he woke up it was fine.

* * *

Another day passed and I was very rudely woken up by someone slamming the door open. I looked around bleary eyed and before I knew it Hannah was making some kind of dramatic entrance saying that she was so worried and that she was glad he was okay. She threw her bag at the chair I was sitting on and I just threw it across the room not in the mood to deal with her shit. I wrapped my blanket around myself more and pouted before falling back to sleep. As soon as I was asleep again Hannah asked “What on earth is _she_ doing here?”

Castiel looked at her with anger and replied “Unlike you she came as soon as she was called about the accident. I’ve been here four days and you haven’t even bothered to come see me up until now. She’s been here for four days not leaving once. You are in no position to question her being here!”

She scoffed and said “I was busy teaching. If she cared at all about the students she’d be at work, not here!”

Castiel rolled his eyes and replied “You don’t give a damn about the students. As long as they pass you get a check. That’s all you care about. Y/n works her ass off making sure her students get the best possible grade. She’s set cover for all her lectures and she’s made sure professors she knows will be able to teach her students are covering the lectures for her! Don’t make excuses!”

Hannah stood at the side of my bed and asked “Why are you defending her so much? You don’t love her anymore so she’s not your problem! You should be on my side! I’m your girlfriend!”

Castiel took a deep breath, looking over at my sleeping form before replying “Hannah I love her more than anything and I only dated you to hurt her. I’m sorry but I don’t love you and…and I think we should break up”. Hannah’s face flashed from pain to anger in two seconds flat. She slapped Castiel around the face hard enough to split his stitches before breaking his connection to the breathing apparatus he was using to be able to breathe. She then collected her bag from the floor and stormed out angrily. 

I woke up instantly, hearing the urgent beeping of a machine and Castiel’s choking. I called for the nurses quickly and Jason appeared immediately too. I was kicked out the room and just as I was I heard the words ‘his lungs are failing’ fall from Jason’s mouth. I shook violently with worry as I waited impatiently to be let back in. Even when they were done I wasn’t allowed back in. The nurses thought I was the one that did that to him. One even threatened to call the police if I went back in. Jason yelled at them all, telling them I wouldn’t do something like that and call for help after. The nurses immediately shut up after that and I was allowed back in to see him. 

I practically ran into the room and moved over to him instantly, making sure he was okay. He had a bruise forming on his cheek and the stitches on his cheek were new. He was sleeping and I couldn’t stop the sadness flowing through me. Then I realised who had done it and anger took over me. If it wasn’t for the fact I wanted to be with Castiel, Hannah would be dead. No one hurts and nearly kills my Castiel. He didn’t deserve that. I sat down holding his hand tightly and before I knew it I was asleep again from how much energy worrying about him had taken out of me. 

I was going to take care of Castiel, no one would hurt him again. Even if the Universe did hate me, Castiel would be safe and well again.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings : Uhh crying, excessive pouting, fluff

It had been five days and Castiel was all grumpy because he didn’t have his stuff with him. I sighed and asked for what felt like the hundredth time that day “What’s the matter Cas?”

He pouted at his hospital gown and replied “I don’t like wearing this. It’s itchy, smells funny and it’s too cold! I need my clothes!”

I put down my book and asked “What can I do? Like seriously, what on earth do you think I can do to help you?”

He mumbled out quietly “You could go to my apartment and pack me a bag of things I’ll need here. I won’t be leaving for a while and you need to shower, you haven’t had any real time to look after yourself.” I sighed, shaking my head, and he looked at me with those damn puppy dog eyes. I growled slightly before getting up, pouting grumpily at him and taking his keys from the bedside table. He smiled at me a little smug and I just rolled my eyes as I left. 

I drove to his apartment and when I got there the door was already open and I could smell burning. I walked in to find Hannah on the floor by the fireplace burning the photo’s of Castiel and I. She was also laughing rather manically. I slammed the door shut making her turn to look at me with a shocked expression. I growled through gritted teeth “Get out!”

She just huffed and went back to burning photo’s of Castiel and I. I stopped her and growled “You are going to leave this apartment right this second or I am going to call the police and tell them you broke into his apartment and started doing this! I’ll even tell them that you nearly fucking killed him! Now leave you crazy bitch!”

She got up and replied snarkily “Oh and I guess you’re totally innocent breaking into his apartment too?”

I laughed and answered “He asked me to come here and pack him a bag for the hospital. I’m here because he asked me to be here. Now go! You’re lucky I’m not beating the crap out of you for what you did to him!”

She scoffed and growled “You ruined everything! You just had to come back! He was falling for me but then you came along again and he followed you like a little lost puppy again! We were happy and you destroyed our relationship! So now I’m destroying all your memories!”

She lunged for the photo’s but I quickly caught her and pinned her against the wall in a painful grip. She cried in pain and I growled “You are going to leave here and never come near me or Castiel again! Do! You! Understand!”

I pulled my grip tighter with every syllable and she cried a little more each time. She nodded eagerly muttering out the words ‘I promise’ so I let go of her and she ran out the apartment letting out terrified whimpers as she did so. 

I sighed picking up the photo’s that were left and saw the box they came from. I put them back in and went to put the lid back on but stopped seeing the words on top. On top was Castiel’s beautiful handwriting. He had written ’ _Me and My love. Don’t ever throw this out, some days you’ll need this to remind you of all the good times you had together_ ’. 'Me and My love’ was an older text and it was in another colour. The words after looked newer and just a little messier, he must’ve written it after we broke up.

I couldn’t help but just sit and look through the box of all our memories together. She hadn’t destroyed many of the photo’s and I had all the ones that were missing so I could easily get him back the ones she had gotten rid of. He had little notes on the back of certain photo’s like the one from where he took me to Moscow for my birthday and tried to teach me Russian. His Mother was Russian and he was fluent. He always used to tease me by saying things to me in Russian because he knew I wouldn’t understand. 

He had little beautiful worded notes on the photo’s telling him what he was feeling in those moments and after about half an hour of crying over our relationship while looking through the box I left it on his coffee table and went to pack his bag. 

Once it was packed I saw a photo of him and I on his nightstand facing where his head would be. It was the one Charlie had taken when it was snowing. He was holding me in his arms and we were looking into each others eyes. That day had been so romantic. It was the weekend so we were just outside walking through the flurry with Charlie. We were ice skating when she took the photo. He had just caught me because I was a crap ice skater and had fallen for about the hundredth time that day. I picked up the photo on the nightstand smiling since it was the exact same photo I kept by my bed. I put it back before leaving his apartment to go home and take a shower. 

Once I was changed and showered I went back to the hospital. Castiel looked bored as hell and I couldn’t help but smile since he always got such a pouty face when he was bored. I always loved it when he pouted. I sat down in my chair and he looked towards me smiling a little. He still couldn’t move without him crying out in agony so he was forced to stay lying down. I plopped his bag down next to him and he instantly went through it. I looked through my own bag Charlie had made on my bed and found a bear claw, a few cans of Monster and my laptop sitting on top of my clothes and shower stuff. She seemed to think I wouldn’t be going back to the apartment for a while. She was right obviously but I didn’t need shower stuff. I’d go home for a few minutes to shower and come back instead. I couldn’t just use his room’s shower, it wasn’t my room. I took out the bear claw and Castiel pouted at me as I took a bite. I asked “What?”

He huffed and replied “I didn’t get a bear claw.”

I chuckled and said “Charlie got it for me and she made me a bag. I found it on my bed.” He gave me his best puppy dog eyes and I sighed splitting it in two so he could have some. He took it from me happily and I said a little hesitantly “Hannah was in your apartment destroying photo’s of you and I.”

He froze, looking at me and asked “Did you throw her out?”

I nodded and replied “She was laughing manically and saying some crap about me ruining her blossoming relationship with you. Just saying I haven’t actually been near you properly in a long time so I don’t think she can blame your relationship failing all on me!”

He asked a little sad “She didn’t destroy all the photo’s did she?”

I shook my head and replied “Only a few. I’ve got the ones she destroyed at home. I can make you copies. I put the other photo’s back in the box that she got them from. It’s on your coffee table.” He nodded, trying to gauge my reaction to the photo’s and box but I didn’t let any kind of reaction out. He took a bite of the bear claw and moaned quietly. I smiled at him, knowing how much he loved sweet stuff, before taking out my laptop and looking through my emails. He watched me the entire time pouting and I couldn’t help but chuckle at him. Oh the time at the hospital was going to be fun when you had a bored physics professor to entertain. Castiel was extremely hard to keep entertained unless it was with sex. He’d quite happily be entertained by that for hours on end if he had his way.

* * *

It had been two weeks and I was now on leave for personal reasons at the college. Well I say personal reasons, I actually got the time off because I told my boss I was looking after Castiel and she filed it under personal reasons and I still get full pay. Castiel could now move but his leg was still broken and his back hurt like hell. He could hardly walk bless him. I had to help him to the bathroom and he was embarrassed every time because I’d have to hold him up. He’d tried sitting down but he couldn’t get back up and he got even more embarrassed by that. Anyway enough talking about how embarrassing taking Castiel to the bathroom was.

I spent every day in the hospital with Castiel, making sure he had everything he needed. Charlie had brought me a nice pile of test papers from my classes, which she was covering for me, so I was going through them. She had also told me that Jody, my boss, was retiring and wanted me to take over as head of department. I wasn’t sure if I should take the job yet because it meant more hours of work and Castiel needed someone to take care of him until he was 100%.  

He was sulking at the moment. He had been trying to convince me that I should go back to work and that he was fine by himself but I wouldn’t budge. Now he was sulking because I yelled at him. I sighed, as he huffed, and asked “Aren’t you done sulking yet?”

He just huffed and extremely slowly started moving so his back was to me. I smiled slightly before I heard him hissing in pain. I sighed and stopped him from moving before saying “Cas I’m sorry but I won’t go back to work. You need help and everyone else is busy. I’m about the only one who actually has time on their hands and frankly I’m more than willing to get you back on your feet. Please stop sulking, you’re hurting yourself.” He flopped back down on his back before looking at me with those big sad eyes.

He mumbled back “I can do this on my own. I don’t need help. Please go back to work. I don’t need to be taken care of.”

I frowned at him and said “Castiel Novak if you think for one second that you don’t need to be taken care of then you need to take whatever stick you’ve shoved up your ass out! Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes Cas, even you. Why won’t you accept that I’m here to take care of you?”

He looked away from me and replied a little broken “I-If I can’t take care of myself how am I supposed to take care of you?”

I sighed sadly hearing him say that and moved so I was standing over him.I pulled his head towards me and said looking into those big blue eyes “When you’re taking care of someone it goes both ways. It doesn’t matter if you need help, you can still take care of me. Please accept that I’m going to be taking care of you whether you like it or not.” I kissed his forehead and went to go sit back down but he caught my wrist pulling me down so I was laying with him instead. I ran my fingers through his hair hushing him softly since he was shaking. I had nearly forgotten how insecure Castiel was. Sometimes he just needed someone to tell him it was okay to be vulnerable. 

I kissed his cheek being careful to avoid his stitches and he gently moved his head so it was resting under my chin. That’s how we fell asleep. Him letting me pet and soothe him while he held onto me remembering I would never judge him for needing help. He had big problems with his father when he was younger. Castiel was the youngest of all his siblings and his Father was one of those ‘you shouldn’t need help with anything’ kind of guys. Sometimes I thought his Dad was soulless from the stories he’d tell me. Some of them were horrible. His Mother was wonderful. I’d never met his Dad and I thought that if I did I’d punch him and tell him just how wonderful his son was.

* * *

A few weeks had passed and Castiel was nearly ready to leave the hospital! According to Jason he should be okay to leave in a few days. I yawned as I woke to the sound of my niece bounding down the corridor. Her voice was so loud. All the nurses were saying hello as she greeted them. All the hospital staff in the ward knew my niece and I because well I had been at the hospital for a while now and Luna was Jason’s daughter so she was there a lot. Luna ran into the room smiling brightly as she held Appa, her toy flying bison. Luna was a fan of Avatar: The Legend of Aang. I found a load of awesome toys for her and her favourite was Appa. 

I smiled sleepily at her and saw Jason coming into the room all grumpy. Castiel was groaning since he was woken up by my niece too. Jason smiled at us and went straight to check on how Castiel was doing. Luna walked over to me and climbed onto my lap before curling up under my blanket with me and mumbling “Daddy had to take me to work today. I don’t like waking up early.”

I smiled softly at her and replied “Hmm, I can relate to that. Mornings are the worst.” She snuggled into me with Appa and before I knew it she was fast asleep on me. Jason pouted at me and asked “How on earth do you do that?! Rachel and I spend hours trying to get her to sleep but with you all she needs is to be sitting on you!”

I smiled and replied “Hell if I know. She seems to like sleeping on me. Once she got scared from a nightmare and just got into bed with me. I found her on top of me starfishing in the morning. She told me why she got into bed with me when she woke up so I wasn’t too freaked out. I mean you know what happens when people just randomly appear in my bed. I tend to freak out.” Jason was still pouting at me and now grumbling about how annoying I was under his breath. He went to leave and I asked “Hey?! You forgot your child?”

He smiled and replied “I’ll be back for her later. Look after her for me while I see some patients.” I went to protest but he was already out the door. I huffed and Castiel chuckled at me. I asked annoyed “What?!”

He just smiled and replied “You pretend you hate it but you love looking after her.”

I rolled my eyes at him and said “Oh shut up or I’ll leave.”

He smirked and replied “No you won’t. You care too much to leave me here all alone.” I huffed and pouted at him knowing he was right but never admitting it. He just smirked even more before deciding he was going to read.

When Luna woke up I got some marking done and she played with Castiel. I couldn’t help but smile every time I’d glance up and see Castiel playing with my niece quite happily. She seemed to love him for some reason and he got on extremely well with her. Not a lot of people got my nieces seal of approval but he seemed to have passed her tests with flying colours. I blushed slightly when I heard her whispering “See, I told you people don’t stop loving each other! You love Aunty Y/n/n and she loves you!”

He did too but he was better at concealing it. A knock came to the door and we all looked over to see Gabriel and Lucifer, Castiel’s older brothers. Luna looked at me cautiously and I smiled saying “It’s okay, they’re good guys. These are Cas’s brothers.” Luna nodded and came over to me anyway. She was always cautious when it came to new people, just like me really. She sat on my lap and Gabriel asked “So who’s the little girl?”

I smiled and replied “My niece and what the hell do you think you guys are doing coming here after he’s been here for over a month?!”

Lucifer winced and said “To be fair we don’t live in town and we’ve been busy.”

Castiel smiled as I pouted at his brothers and Gabriel asked “So how’s my crippled brother doing?”

Castiel sighed and replied “I’ve been here for about six weeks now and I’m pretty close to losing my mind from boredom. There’s only so many times you can read a book before the idea of reading gets boring. I can hardly walk, my legs all healed up though. My ribs are nearly all good and the lung problems are all gone luckily but I’ve been given strict orders not to do too much once I’m 100%." 

That’s when jason came in. He smiled at Castiel’s brothers and then at Luna and I. He checked Castiel over before picking Luna up and saying "Rachel’s finally back from that tournament so my munchkin is going home.”

Luna pouted and replied “Bu -But I wanna stay with Aunty Y/n!”

I yawned and said “I wanna go home and find that Charlie’s actually cleaned the place but we can’t always get what we want so you’re going to go home with your Mother and you’re going to tell me all about what happens to Aang tomorrow.”

She nodded and hugged me half to death before Jason said “I’ll tell the nurse to bring in two more chairs for you two”. Luna waved goodbye and I quickly threw Appa to Jason. He caught it as he was leaving and I stretched slumping in my chair as I went back to attacking the pile of papers Charlie had given me a few days ago. Lucifer asked “Wait so Cassie’s doctor is your big brother and the little girl in here was your niece?”

I nodded and replied “Yes. Jason is my brother and he’s Cas’s Doctor. Luna is my three years old niece. Now shh. I’m trying to mark these papers.” A nurse came in with two chairs and Gabriel and Lucifer sat down.

Castiel asked “So what are you two doing here and where’s Michael?”

Lucifer smiled sadly and replied “We’re visiting you at hospital. We should’ve come earlier but we really were busy and Michael uhh well Michael didn’t want to come. He still thinks you hate him from that argument you and him had.”

Castiel sighed and said “I was mad for a week then I let it go. Tell him I forgive him when you see him next.”

Lucifer nodded and Gabriel asked me “So how long have you been here?”

I mumbled back “Six weeks nearly.”

They both blinked at me and Gabriel asked “You’ve come here everyday for six weeks?”

I shook my head and replied “I’ve stayed here for six weeks. Having a brother as a doctor has it’s perks. I don’t have visiting times.”

Lucifer and Gabriel blinked and Lucifer asked “Cas, you let her stay here for six weeks?!”

Castiel nodded and replied “She has left once but came back within two hours. Other than that she hasn’t left. I’ve tried to get her to go home and sleep properly but she won’t listen.”

Gabriel said “Y/n/n why don’t you go take a break for a while. We’re here now so it’s not like he’ll be alone.”

I blinked at him and replied “Okay but one of you has to help him to the bathroom when he needs to go.” I picked up the papers that still needed marking and put the others in a pile for Charlie later. I then picked up my pencil case and left for the cafeteria. Castiel could do with some time alone with his brothers. On the way out I heard Lucifer ask “What kind of help do you need going to the bathroom?”

Then I could hear Castiel coughing awkwardly in embarrassment. I smiled knowing it was going to be funny when they worked it out. I sat in the cafeteria for an hour with hot chocolate after hot chocolate while marking my papers. When they were all done I went back to the room and smiled seeing Charlie sitting in there with the others. She held up a brown bag and I took it after placing the marked papers with the ones from earlier. I looked inside the bag and asked “Did you really get me twenty brownies?”

She smiled and replied “I gave you a week’s worth of marking and that program was a hard one to crack. You deserve it.” I smiled and Castiel moved over on his bed so I could sit down. I sat down next to him careful not to hurt him and he gave me his best puppy dog eyes. I sighed and gave him a brownie and Gabriel pouted at me asking “How come he gets a brownie and not me?!”

Charlie smirked and replied “He’s her Sweetheart, she’s kind of obliged to share with him.” I rolled my eyes at her and she just stuck her tongue out at me. She had been teasing me about how I was looking after Castiel and I knew she was holding out hope that Castiel and I would get back together. Lucifer and Gabriel smiled slightly and Lucifer asked “So Charlie here tells us you’re going to be head of department when your boss retires?”

I glared at her and replied “I’m still thinking about it. I haven’t made any commitments to taking the job yet.”

Castiel mumbled out under his breath “Yeah only because you’re too stubborn to listen to me.” I glared at him too and he just rolled his eyes at me.

Lucifer and Gabriel laughed and Gabriel said “Oh I missed you. Cassie, why did you ever break her heart?! She’s so much more awesome and likeable than Hannah ever was!”

Castiel sighed and replied “I’d rather not talk about that to you.” I smiled to myself already knowing his reasons and still finding them slightly cute. Even when you try not to fall for him he manages to reel you back in.

After a while of just talking I fell asleep on Castiel’s shoulder and he just smiled. Charlie threw him my blanket and he gently draped it over me. After that Lucifer and Gabriel left promising to come visit when they had more time off. Charlie collected the stuff for home and said goodbye to Castiel before leaving us alone. He gently wiped a loose strand of hair from my face and thought of just how much he hoped we’d get back together, that he’d get a second chance to prove he was good enough for me. He wanted to take care of me and if that meant letting me take care of him then he was willing to let me do it. If it made me happier to help him then he’d let me help him all I wanted. He just wanted to do whatever made me let him back into my life and whatever made me happy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings : Reader doesn’t get along with her sister, some bullying, Cas hobbling around, Cas being a little shit at first. Fluff and Angst

Okay so Castiel and I had figured out an agreement. If I went back to work and accepted the promotion he’d let me take care of him. That consisted of me basically living with him until he was able to do stuff by himself again. So here I was in his kitchen cooking him and I dinner after coming home exhausted from work. Being head of department was really hard work and I felt like all the energy had been sucked right out of me. I didn’t even hear the door go. Castiel did though and he thought it would be a fantastic idea to answer the door straight after his physio exercises. 

When he finally got to the door he opened it but was extremely out of breath and looked ready to pass out. Dinner was done a few minutes after. I went into the living room to find him gone from the sofa. I scowled and saw him at the door barely holding onto the doorframe and he was talking to some woman who was holding a cherry pie. I walked over to them and scolded “Castiel Novak, what have I told you about doing things after your physio exercises?!”

He winced at my tone and replied “Not to do them.”

The woman gave me a tight lipped smile and asked as if it was any of her business “Who are you?”

I replied still annoyed at Castiel for not doing as his physiotherapist told him “I’m Y/n. Now I’m sorry to break up whatever this is but dinner’s ready and you need to sit down before you pass out from pain.” I hooked my arm under his and he leant on me instead of the door. The woman started talking again but I just accepted the pie she was offering and shut the door in her face. I was not in the mood for friendly conversation. I sat him back down on the couch and wrapped him in a blanket before going back to the kitchen with the pie. I came out with our meals and gave him his one before sitting down on my armchair to eat my own. He pouted at me and I asked “What?”

He grumbled back “You forgot my hot sauce.” I rolled my eyes and went to go get it for him. One thing about Castiel, he was a complete and utter child when he was ill. He wanted you to wait on him hand and foot or he’d get all upset with you and throw a tantrum. I think at one point when he was ill I had him standing in the corner for being a pain in the ass. Of course that was when we were together. Now we were just friends again. 

When I came back he was trying to reach the remote and straining himself greatly. I scowled at him, giving him my best death stare, and he stopped while pouting like a five year old. I gave him the remote and hot sauce and said “I’m serious Cas. You’ll cause yourself more damage if you keep doing that. Please just take it easy.”

He sighed looking at me and replied softly “Fine but no more coming home early just so you can make sure I’m alright. I don’t mind if you have to stay at the college late Y/n.” How he found out about that I had no idea but he knew now and I had to agree to his terms or he would hurt himself more than he already is.

I nodded and said “Fine but if I come home and you need immediate medical attention because you did something outrageously stupid I will not be happy.” He smiled at me cheekily with those ‘Yeah but you’d still love me anyway’ eyes and I just rolled my eyes mumbling “Eat your dinner.” After that we ate in silence but he kept glancing over at me, making me roll my eyes each time. He knew I was still annoyed at him, he was just waiting to see when it would be okay to talk. He did this when I got mad at him, he’d keep glancing over at me as if he was waiting for me to explode or for the anger to just go. He knew he was in trouble still. 

Later that night when he was ready for bed he asked “Are you still mad at me?”

I nodded and replied “Yeah but I’m always mad at you. Now go to sleep.” I smiled softly at him before saying goodnight and settling myself on the sofa in the living room. He always gave me his best puppy dog eyes hoping he’d lure me into his bed so I didn’t sleep on the sofa but I’d never give in. Our relationship didn’t work before so it wasn’t going to work out now. I’d be there for him, I always would but we couldn’t go there again, we couldn’t be a couple without everything going drastically wrong.

A few weeks had passed and his neighbour kept coming round bringing him pies and getting way too overly friendly with him. I found it funny because she was trying to make me jealous but I wasn’t the jealous type, that was Castiel. I was pretty mellow when it came to other women hitting on my man, they could do it all they wanted because I knew he was mine. Also plus Castiel wasn’t even mine so it didn’t concern me that I’d lose him, I didn’t even have him in the first place. 

I came in from work exhausted to find Hael, his neighbour, on the sofa with Castiel. Just as I saw them she kissed him. When she pulled away she gave me a shit eating grin thinking she had me but I just smirked and said “None of that on the sofa. I sleep there.” Castiel looked completely shocked and was now stuttering out that it meant nothing. I just laughed shaking my head lightly before making my way into the kitchen to get a drink. Hael looked frustrated and as soon as I came back in she was all over him. I just sat down and flipped through the channels on the TV while gently sipping on the wine I got for myself. Hael growled in frustration and yelled “What’s with you?! Aren’t you capable of being jealous?! Aurgh!”

I blinked up at her and replied softly “Why would I be jealous? Cas isn’t my boyfriend and frankly he could do with a good time. He’s been getting cranky lately.”

She growled “Then why the fuck are you here?!”

I smiled and replied “Cas can hardly walk let alone live on his own. I’ve kinda taken the role of a live in nurse. I’d make a good nurse.” Castiel snorted in amusement and I asked annoyed “Hey? What’s so funny about me being a good nurse?”

Castiel smirked and replied “I think your patients would be terrified of you. You’re a little temperamental Y/n. Not everyone has the patience to deal with you when you’re in a mood.” I rolled my eyes at him and Hael just growled that we were both assholes and vowed to never come back. After that I just shrugged and Castiel laughed hard. I smiled when he was laughing, he always had the most beautiful laugh. His voice was deep as it was and when he laughed it was like a silky soft rumble of thunder, it was magnificent. I asked “So… Hael?”

He wiped the tears from his eyes, finally calming down, and replied “She’s my neighbour and she had a huge crush on me. It’s gotten to the point where she’s openly stalking me. She seems to think we’re soulmates”.

I frowned and asked “Why didn’t you just call the police?”.

He shrugged and replied “Why weren’t you jealous?”.

“I’m not a jealous person Cas. Plus it’s your love life not mine. Still doesn’t prove why you didn’t call the police. If she was stalking you, you should’ve said.”

“I didn’t feel the need. I know what you’re like. She would’ve given up seeing that you really didn’t care. You always were like that. I never understood how you weren’t jealous when women used to hit on me. You get pretty intimidating after a while Y/n. I never needed to call the police on her because she never went particularly far with her stalking.”

I nodded in understanding and said “I was never jealous because I knew I’d be the one going home with you, not the women that were hitting on you”.

He smiled gently as I sipped at my wine again and replied barely even above a whisper as he laid down “I’d still go home with you.” He thought I didn’t hear him but I did and it made me blush for the rest of the night.

* * *

It had been a few months since the whole Hael situation and she was gone now. Castiel was back at the college working but he still had trouble walking so he had a cane. Dean called him an old man so Castiel would always hit him with his cane just to make sure Dean knows not to push it. Castiel hates his cane but it’s necessary. I don’t live in Castiel’s apartment anymore. As soon as Castiel went back to work I went back home. Charlie threw me a party and everything. I even found out she was seeing a Doctor called Dorothy. I liked Dorothy, she was what Charlie needed. I did however spend a lot of time with Castiel, he seemed to insist on having me hang out with him nearly all the time. I didn’t mind though, I liked his company.

I yawned as the new year started. Yup, it was now late summer and the new college year had started. I got my bucket load of eighteen year old students coming in and so did every other professor. I sipped at my coffee as I crossed the campus to my office. All students today would be on tours and the college board thought it would be a great idea to have the head of departments giving tours. So I had to give a tour to students even if they weren’t in my department. I went to the entrance to get my tour group package including the names of the students and to meet the new students there. I smiled at the other professors looking as annoyed as I did. The students started piling in and coming over to their allocated head. I had one more student left and when they came over to me I felt anger surge through me. She smiled at me wickedly like she always did and asked “Sis, I didn’t know you were a Professor? Wow, you must be old.” I growled lowly at her and she quickly stood with the other students. My annoying little sister was there at my college. Oh I was so yelling at Mum for not telling me. The whole tour was filled with anger and snappy questions until I got to the physics department. I had to show them a class and Castiel’s was the only one on so I had to go in his class. He smiled as I came in and I said “This is one of our many physics classrooms.”

My sister looked a little awestruck and asked “So this is one of the classrooms I could be studying in?”

I nodded and replied “If you’re doing physics then yeah. Now we should be moving on, we’ve already disturbed Cas enough for one day.”

He chuckled and said “Your disturbances always make my day better.” I smiled for what felt like the first time that morning as I moved the students along and my sister looked at Castiel and I suspiciously. I’d talk to her later, I needed to finish the tour.

Once the tour was finished the new students left to get ready for the first school day the day after. I inwardly groaned, seeing my sister waiting outside my office for me and asked “Okay buttmunch what on earth do you think you’re doing here?!”

She smiled and replied “I’m going to become a physicist and this place has the best program for science. Also not to mention the incredibly handsome Professor Novak.”

I rolled my eyes and said “You stay away from Cas. He’s not like that and he’d find it weird given the fact I’m your sister.”

She asked “Oh and why would he find it weird?”

I went into my office sighing out “He’s my ex.”

She froze and asked in an extremely shrill voice “Shut up! You’re kidding me? You had a boyfriend?!”

I nodded and replied “Yes now explain why Mum let you come here to ruin my life?”

I leant against my desk expectantly and she sighed out “Mum wanted me to go somewhere that was close to family. She wanted to make sure I was safe and that I behaved myself.” I nodded in understanding and someone knocked on my door gaining both our attention.

Castiel stood in the doorway with his cane and I asked “You okay?”

He nodded hobbling into the office before sitting down at my desk. I asked “Any reason why you’re here?”

He smiled and replied “I have some time off and you looked like you needed someone to rant to. Isn’t that the girl from earlier?”

My sister put on her best flirtatious smile and I growled out “Buttmunch I swear to god if you pull that shit I’m going to call Mum and tell her you’re already being a little shit!”

She pouted at me and replied “First of all my name is Amelia not Buttmunch and she won’t do anything unless Jason thinks so too.” I gave her the 'You really think he won’t think the same thing as me?’ look and she just huffed saying “Fine. I’ll just stand here like some sort of catholic school girl!”

I nodded before turning to Castiel and saying “Meet my little sister Amelia. She’s the most infuriating girl in the world and she’s here to become a physicist. Good luck.”

He looked surprised and asked her “You want to be a physicist? You don’t look like the type to become one.”

She gave him another flirtatious smile and replied “I get that a lot. I know I’m too hot to be physicist.” He looked at me shocked and I felt defeated. Oh Jason and I were definitely going to kill her.

She looked at me and said “I was wondering if you’d come with me to see Jason.”

I blinked at her and replied “Nope, you’re going to face that storm all by yourself. I can already feel the shit storm brewing in the air. I’m not going to be involved in it Amy.” She pouted at me and I just shook my head at her.

She groaned and said “You’re so mean! Fine! But you’ve got to go out to show me around Lawrence. I have no idea where anywhere is.”

I shrugged and replied “I’ll think about it. Now get lost, you don’t start college until tomorrow and I’d like a disaster free day at work. Also don’t go bothering Jason while he’s at work. He should get off at seven but no promises.” She nodded, sulking still and stormed out my office swaying her hips a little more than usual to try and tempt Castiel. I sat down in the chair opposite Castiel and asked “Hey, you mind going into my first drawer and getting my whiskey? I need a drink”. He got my whiskey for me and I took a swig not even bothering to pour a glass.

He asked curiously “So you have a little sister? Funny, I never met this sister.”

I smiled and replied “We don’t really get along. She’s an evil bitch that Jason and I put up with until we got old enough to move away. I spend the holidays with Jason and Mum usually comes up for the day. We refused to talk to Amy a while back. Of course Amy didn’t know, Mum wouldn’t tell her that we really didn’t want to be around her and her extremely childish and out of order behaviour. You know you’re most probably going to end up being her Professor this year right? She’s a nightmare so if you do have her, good luck.”

He sighed and said “I doubt she’s that bad.”

I laughed lightly and replied “Oh you just wait Cas, she’s the worst.” I took another swig of my whiskey and we just sat in my office talking for a while. He was a good distraction when I needed it. He always had been.

* * *

So another month has passed and she had been a living nightmare but not to Castiel luckily. The college made a mistake with her dorm room applications so she was living with Charlie and I since we had an extra room. She paid rent and everything but she drove me insane with all her usual shit she did to me. I don’t think I had ever been so mad as I was right at that moment. I had gotten an email back from the exam boards saying the papers I sent off were marked wrong. The mark scheme hadn’t been used according to them and they sent over the real copy. I looked over the mark scheme I had and saw it was a forged one. I had kept the mark scheme in my office in my locked file cabinet and only the professors and I had access to it. The key to my file cabinet was missing. I thought I had lost it the week before but now I realised it had been stolen and my mark scheme had been tampered with. I knew exactly who did it too. I kept my key in my room at all times and no one went in there except from perhaps my meddling little sister. She wasn’t just in trouble with me this time, she had committed a crime. I marched to her physics lesson and knocked on the door rather violently. I heard castiel’s “Come in” and opened the door urgently. I looked over at Amelia and growled “You! Here! Right now!”

She looked up at me and smirked smugly before getting up and following me outside. That’s when I let loose. I asked angrily “Where’s my mark scheme?”

She replied feigning innocence “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I growled stepping closer to her “Amelia do you know how serious this is?! You have not only stolen a piece of confidential information but forged a copy of it and changed it! I have to put all my students back through their exam so it can be remarked! All because of you! Amelia you could be kicked out of college for this and the fact you stole this and forged another copy of it will be put on your records! You’ll find it harder to find a job and I doubt any college would let you in knowing what you did!”

She swallowed hard and looked scared now. She looked down at her hands with guilt and said shakily “I-I was only trying to get payback for getting Professor Novak to give me a bad grade. I-I didn’t realise it would be that serious. I thought they were for a in class test not an exam.”

I shook my head in disapproval before replying “I didn’t get Cas to give you a bad grade. You didn’t get a good grade because you didn’t put any effort into the paper you gave him. As for payback, that’s extremely immature of you! You’re in college now! You can’t just go round being a spoiled brat anymore! You’re just lucky I haven’t told anyone about this yet!”

She begged crying “P-Please don’t get me kicked out! I’ll be good I promise! Please! Y/n I’m begging you, please don’t get me kicked out of college!”

I sighed and replied softer “Look I’ll just say that you didn’t realise it was for an exam and that we were having an argument. They know we’re sisters so they have to take that into consideration. You won’t be kicked out if I tell them it’s alright. It isn’t alright because now all my students have to retake an exam they had been revising months for but if you promise me that you’ll never do anything like that again and that you’ll get your shit together I’ll do that instead of just telling them you stole it and forged and changed a copy of it.”

She nodded eagerly and said “I promise. Thank you, I-I’ll never do anything like that again!”

I nodded and replied “Go on. Get back to your lecture. You’ll get an email today with a time and place for a meeting about it.” She nodded and went back into class still shaking. I rubbed my hands over my face before going back to my office to organise everything.

-Amelia’s PoV-

It had been a week since I had fucked up big time. She bailed me out like she said she would and I loved her for it. I had decided she was right, I did need to get my head out my ass. I started doing my work properly and my grades were already improving. Everyone in the college had heard what I did and nearly everyone bullied me about it now. She didn’t speak to me at all anymore. She ignored me at all times now. I knew why though. Mum was disappointed in me and Jason yelled at me before sighing and telling me to start acting like an adult before I get into something Jason or Y/n couldn’t get me out of. That’s when it happened.

I was walking to physics with all my books in my hands since my bag had broken unexpectedly. That’s when a group of guys came towards me. I recognised them as the guys that had been yelling things at me all week and they were in my physics class too. When they were surrounding me they started insulting me and calling me worthless. By the time they were finished I was on my knees crying with my books ruined by the rain and puddles they pushed them in. I stayed there just crying, knowing that going to physics looking the way I did now would only humiliate me further.

-Y/n’s PoV-

I walked across the courtyard briskly but stopped instantly seeing Amelia crying on her knees in the rain with all her books ruined by the rain and the puddle they were currently sitting in. I had been avoiding her all week, still not pleased with her behaviour but seeing her like that brought back memories of when she was little and I’d have to cheer her up after the girls at her school were mean to her. I went over and helped her up so she was holding onto me for dear life. I then picked up the ruined books and growled angrily “Who did this?!”

She cried out into my shoulder “A-A group of guys from my class came and to-told me what I already know and threw my books in a puddle.”

I sighed and said softly “Don’t you dare believe what they told you! I don’t need to know what they told you to know that what they said isn’t true. Now come on, we’ll get you new books from the campus store and then tonight I can help you put in your post it notes.” She sniffled, stopping her tears and I gently moved her to the store. I bought all the books she needed before taking her to Castiel’s lecture. Once we were there I gave her my trench coat and walked in with her. I asked her gently “Who were the guys?”

She pointed them out to me and they all looked at her with smug grins until they saw my look of utter fury. That’s when they shrunk into their chairs. I smiled and said “Okay so I know who you are now and I suggest you get up and follow me or you’ll be getting a worse punishment when I find your names on the system and drag you out of whatever lecture you’re in.” They all swallowed hard and got up.

I got out my spare office key and gave it to Amelia saying “If it gets too much, just come along and sit in there. I don’t mind. If you want someone to talk to Charlie or Dean will be around. Also we’re going out for dinner tonight because Charlie finally got a girlfriend.” She nodded in understanding and took the key before going off to her seat. The guys waited expectantly for me at the door and I turned to Castiel, who was looking at me pretty surprised, before saying “I’m gunna take these guys out and teach them how to act like mature adults. If she starts getting panicked send her out.” He nodded still confused and I pushed the guys out the classroom before giving them one of the loudest angry rants about how to act like mature adults you’d ever heard. I told them that as punishment they had to stand in corners of physics department because they couldn’t act like adults to get an adult punishment. They even had to take down their jeans. It was pretty funny to be honest and definitely humiliating enough. Probably not exactly something a Professor should be doing but I didn’t care, they had hurt my little sister and ruined her books. 

I went to my lecture and when I got there the class was already doing their work. Good thing about my graduates, they knew me well enough to know what my lesson plans were and why I’d be late. One of my students asked if I was done having sex with Castiel though. They all knew of my relationship with Castiel and they were determined that we’d get back together. It was actually kind of funny. I just laughed and told him that we weren’t confident enough to have sex in front of a class of first year undergrads. The whole class laughed at that. My students and I had a good relationship. 

After my lecture finished I went to my office and found Amelia fast asleep on the sofa I had in there. I smiled softly at her and went to go sit down and continue with my overload of paperwork. Maybe what happened was the push she needed to get back to being the good kid she used to be. I was going to help her now, she wasn’t quite as prepared for the big bad world as she first thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings : We have fluff, we have angst, we have a gift war, we have a running bet on the reader’s love life, We have everything your heart needs and avoids. There will be a rollercoaster of emotions so please keep your tissues in your hands, your eyes glued to the screen and enjoy the ride ;)

The first thing I expected when I got into work was a pile of paperwork not to see my high school boyfriend standing at the door to my office. He smiled at me and said “Long time no see.”

I smiled back faintly and replied “You could say that. Jake, not to be rude but what on earth are you doing here?”

He smiled nervously, scratching the back of his neck, before saying “I owe you an apology for what happened in high school. I was a dick. I uhh I got a job here in the english department. It’s a pretty good gig too. I was kinda hoping we could put the past behind us and start a new.” Okay so that was the last thing I was expecting.

I blinked in surprise before smiling a little brighter and saying “I-I’d like that. I guess I’ll see you around Jake.” He nodded and hurried off waving back at me until he was out of view.

* * *

At lunch Castiel and I decided to try the college café since we really couldn’t be bothered to leave the campus. I saw Jake and he was relentlessly miming at me that he didn’t even see the table behind him. I couldn’t help but giggle when he fell into it. Castiel looked totally confused though. When he looked over to where I was looking he looked slightly annoyed but also a little jealous. He turned back to me and asked “Who was that Y/n?”

I smiled still amused from the recent event and replied “That was my high school ex Jake. He wants to start over as friends and he even apologised. He really changed.” A little frown appeared on his lips after that but I didn’t acknowledge it. I did notice that Castiel seemed to be trying to make me smile and laugh though. I knew how jealous he got but seriously, we weren’t even together! I didn’t care though, he’d calm down eventually.

Okay so maybe I was wrong, so maybe my jealous possessive ex was going out his way to prove that he was better than my high school ex. I did find it amusing because Castiel tried real hard to impress me now. Jake and I had become fast friends and he was just as I remembered him. 

When we first met he was the smart and funny goofball of the class. He ran into the wrong crowds though and shit happened. Now the Jake I had a crush on in high school was back and I had to admit, it did reawaken a few of my old feelings for him but I didn’t love him the way I loved my blue eyed idiot of a friend. Castiel was finally able to walk without a cane now and it was awesome. After all that physiotherapy my Castiel was back to being 100%. 

It had been exactly two months since Jake reappeared in my life and things were actually going pretty good apart from the competition Castiel had seemed to created. I walked to my office that morning with Castiel and found Jake there carrying a rose. I smiled gently and asked “What can I do for you Jake?”

He smiled nervously and replied “Well I uhh I got this for you.” He gave me the rose and I smiled saying a quiet thank you. He smiled back more confidently before kissing my cheek and high tailing it out of there. He did that a lot. I smiled at the sweet gesture and Castiel huffed softly making me chuckle at him. He asked me pouting “What? What’s so funny?”

I smiled at him warmly and replied “Oh just that you’re jealous. I mean if you wanted Jake’s attention you could’ve just said so.”

He scowled at me and said “I’m not jealous of you!”

I smiled and replied “Of course you’re not jealous of me but jealous of Jake, yeah you’re so jealous.” I went into my office and put Jake’s rose in the tiny vase on my windowsill before sitting down and getting to work. Castiel huffed out a goodbye before stomping out in one of his moods while I just laughed at him.

Later that day at lunch Castiel came to pick me up holding something behind his back. I looked at him curiously and he revealed the bouquet of Tiger lilies from behind his back. I loved tiger lilies, they were my favourite flower. He smiled and said “I got you some flowers as a thank you for taking care of me when I was ill.”

I took the bouquet from him, putting them in a vase on my desk, before replying “One would’ve sufficed Cas.”  

He gave me a proud smile and said “Now I couldn’t just give you one. You deserved the whole bouquet of them.”

I smiled thoughtfully at him, already knowing why he’d gotten me so many, before replying “Well thank you. Now can we go to lunch? I’m starving.” He extended his arm to me and I rolled my eyes taking it, still smiling. He always had to be over the top about things and it always made me smile. Even with his possessive and jealous quirks he always made me smile. It was why I loved him, he’d always find a way to make me smile even if he didn’t realise it. 

When we got to the lounge area I was laughing hard at something Castiel told me. He was trying not to laugh himself but was blushing crimson. He had accidentally got slapped by a pregnant lady for talking to Dean about watching his weight. Apparently the lady thought he was talking about her. I found it hilarious because only he would manage it. Charlie and Amelia were talking in the comfy chairs when they noticed us. Charlie smiled and said “Oh they are so getting back together.”

Amelia shook her head and replied “No. Jake’s gunna win her over. Cas had his chance and blew it. Jake, now, lost his chance ages ago but they started over so he has a new chance. I think Jake’s going to get with my sister. They made a sweet couple when they were in high school.”

Charlie shook her head and said “Nope. Sorry but Cas is going to win her.”

Amelia smirked and replied “Fine, how about we make this interesting? I say we bet twenty bucks on each of our guys. So if Jake wins her over I get twenty bucks and if Cas wins her over you get twenty bucks. Sound fair?”

Charlie smiled determinedly and said “You are so on.” They both shook on it and Charlie watched happily as Castiel led me out to lunch like always. She didn’t need to worry about losing. She knew where my heart was at and it was all Castiel’s. I don’t think he’d let Jake get his hands anywhere near it, Castiel was the most possessive man I had ever met and once he had you he never let you go. He was an asshole at times but he was my asshole even if we weren’t together. I knew where his heart was and I knew what he was like. I already knew Jake’s chances with me were near non-existent but I still wanted to explore my feelings a little. A girl could have fun even if her heart did belong to a blue eyed physics professor who just so happened to be a super possessive guy. 

After lunch I went back to work unaware that Amelia was planning with Jake on how to win my heart.

* * *

Within a month there was an all out war going on. Charlie and Dean were with Castiel while Amelia was with Jake. I was in the middle just existing. I didn’t know what game they were playing or the objective quite yet. I knew Jake wanted to go out with me and I knew Castiel was a lovesick possessive puppy but I didn’t know they were in it to win my heart, which funnily enough had kind of just decided to give up and hide away until the person it wanted was in my sights again. He wasn’t though. I was strongly refusing to listen to my heart and decided to just be friends with Castiel.

I hummed while walking in my office, only to find the whole place overflowing with flowers. It looked like someone went out and bought a whole flower store. I sighed and asked myself “Who was it this time? Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum?”

I looked at the note on my desk and saw it was from Jake. I smiled at the gesture and said “So it was Tweedle Dum. Wonder what Tweedle Dee is planning?”

I sat down at my desk and got to work ignoring the overwhelming colour explosion the flowers brought to my office. 

When I had finished lunch with Charlie I went to my classroom and found a single box on my desk. On the box was Castiel’s beautiful handwriting. He wrote some lovey dovey words on the box with his initials at the bottom and put “Just thought you’d like this” at the bottom of the lid. I chuckled opening the box and gasped seeing a first edition copy of my favourite book. I did not nearly burst into tears and I certainly did not feel my heart swell with love for the man. I put the book back in the box and put it next to my laptop as I set up for class. Whatever their game was they were playing it dangerously.

* * *

I think it was when Jason got involved that things got a little out of hand. He came into work with me one day to see how I was doing since he was bored with his time off. 

I walked into my office, which was flower free by that time, and his jaw dropped seeing the giant teddy bear sitting next to my desk. I sighed and asked “Tweedle dum?”

I looked at the note around it’s neck and sighed out “Tweedle Dum.”

Jason laughed lightly and asked “Who’s the teddy bear from?”

I sighed out “Jake.”

Jason smiled lightly and asked “Does he realise that you’re hopelessly and desperately in love with blue eyes the walking miracle?”

I frowned and replied “I’m not sure but just ‘cause I love Cas doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings for Jake. Nothing’s exactly going to happen with Cas and I. It didn’t work out first time around, it’s not going to work second time around and Jake is a nice guy. We started over and he makes me smile.” Jason just rolled his eyes and let me get to work. 

He decided to wander out and explore and found Dean and Charlie in the lounge talking in hushed tones about how they were going to get Castiel to win. Jason chuckled standing next to them and said “You realise he’s already won right? No guy is going to change Y/n’s heart when it’s already made up it’s mind on who it wants. But if you were looking for a sure fire way of getting them back together then convince her that the relationship will work. She convinces herself that once a relationship doesn’t work it won’t work again, convince her that it will work”.

Charlie and Dean nodded in understanding and Charlie replied “Damn, you’re right! Ooh I’ve got a good idea! They’ll be back together before you know it!”

She ran off getting ready her intervention plan and Dean asked “So why are you taking Cas’s side in this war and not Jake’s?”

Jason smiled and replied “The only time I’ve ever seen my sister smile the way she does with Castiel was when we were kids and Dad was still around. She never smiled the same again after he passed away. But Castiel can make her smile the way she used to. That’s how I know he’s the one for her, her heart never quite healed after Dad passed but something’s different now. Her heart’s latched onto him and it’s not going to let go Dean, it’s found another way to be happy.”

Dean smiled and said “I remember that change you know. It was around the same time I met Cas. I needed a new partner for Chemistry since she had been off for a week and Charlie had practically rubbed it in my face that Y/n was hanging with her every living breathing moment so I got paired with the new guy… Cas.”

Jason smiled and replied “Coincidences aren’t real Dean, not in my opinion anyway.” He walked off back to my office and found Amelia and I talking about her new project for physics. Jason raised his eyebrow at us and asked “Wow, you two are finally getting along properly?”

I smiled and replied “Yup, now shh. We were talking about physics.”

He rolled his eyes and said “Maybe I’ll go get blue eyes the walking miracle and you lot can talk about physics together.”

I frowned and replied “Cas is in a lecture right now so shut up and you can give the giant teddy bear to Luna, I can see what you’re thinking.”

Amelia frowned and Jason smiled saying “She’ll love that thing. I’ll even tell her it’s gift from you.”

I smiled and replied “Good 'cause I have no idea what I’d do with it. At least Cas’s gifts are small and extremely well thought out. I mean seriously, the other week he got me a pocket watch necklace I had been saving up to buy for months now. Sometimes I think he spends too much money, all the time I think I shouldn’t get gifts because it’s not my birthday or christmas! I just don’t understand why they won’t just stop! Jake’s nice but I don’t need gifts and Cas is a jealous puppy that likes to show off! The only way he’s going to stop is if Jake stops.”

Jason asked taking off the note from the teddy bear “Do you really want Cas to stop though? Seems to me like you like the gifts you get from him more than you do Jake. I mean I wasn’t here for five minutes but I can see the charm bracelet from a mile away and I know it was from Cas. I also think that you’d never dream of giving away any of his gifts whereas you’d happily give away Jake’s gifts. Y/n, I don’t think you want Cas to stop so you’re not stopping Jake because you know Cas will stop his little gift parade as soon as Jake does.”

I frowned and replied “I don’t favour any of their gifts more than the other. It’s just Cas gets me real expensive stuff that I’ve been wanting for an age now and I like to use his gifts.”

Amelia asked “So you do like Cas’s gifts more than Jake’s?! Come on, you can’t tell me you’re still in love with Castiel?! Jake’s new feelings remember, explore them a little before you settle down in your boring life with Mr blue eyes and sunshine smiles!”

I was a little speechless at that moment. Jason smirked and replied “Oh please, she’d still go for Cas without hesitation. Blue eyes and sunshine smiles is who she wants not new feelings.” Him and Amelia got into a fight about who I should go for and I was quite happily leaning towards the stuffed bear more than I was towards Jake or Castiel. They were both interrupted by Castiel. He smiled at me and I smiled at him still eyeing the stuffed bear in my office. Well if all else fails I’ve still got the bear, I mean it would be soft to cuddle at night and at least then I wouldn’t be crazy cat lady. Jason smiled and said “Hey Cas.”

Amelia huffed and growled “Don’t ignore me Jason Rupert L/n! I know all your weak spots!”

Castiel and I just blinked at them as they got into an intense growling session about how to fucking fight! I hit my head against the table and said “Right, that’s it. I’m taking the stuffed bear and getting out of town. If anyone needs me I’ll be in Hawaii looking forward to my inevitable death by volcano!”

Castiel laughed slightly at that and replied “Rough day?”

I groaned in frustration and answered “If they don’t stop fighting I will marry the stuffed bear just to get some peace and quiet for a while.”

He sat down next to me and said “I don’t know Y/n, I don’t think the bear’s good enough for you. You should be with someone who can take care of you and give you what you need and want.” I gave him a small smile and he smiled back brightly. Damn his smiles were like sunshine! 

Jason smirked at Amelia seeming to think he had won the argument and I looked at him and said “On second thought can I keep the bear? I wanna get a headstart on becoming crazy teddy bear lady.”

Jason frowned and replied “No, you already said it was Luna’s bear. She can be crazy teddy bear. You go with sunshine smiles not new feelings!”

Amelia argued “But new feelings is so much better! Doesn’t it deserve a chance! I mean come on! Sunshine smiles can wait!”

Castiel asked highly confused “What are they on about?”

I sighed out “My love life. I’ve accepted dying alone with a teddy bear as my husband but Jason doesn’t think so. He wants me to follow my heart but Amelia wants me to follow what my mind is saying. I just wanna get through the day and buy a cupcake on the way home.”

Castiel asked “Sunshine smiles? I don’t understand, who’s sunshine smiles and who’s new feelings?”

I sighed and replied “I’d rather not say. To be honest I don’t think I’m even involved in this argument.”

He nodded and asked “Wanna go to lunch with me today? I can buy you that cupcake early.”

I hugged him and replied “Buy me two and I’ll be your best friend forever.”

He laughed and said “I think that’s crazy talk, you’ll be in Hawaii waiting for your inevitable death by volcano before you state that I’m your best friend in front of Charlie. She’d have my head.”

I smiled against his neck as he hugged me back and replied “True but then I could be crazy teddy bear lady with a psycho as a best friend. I’d rather be crazy teddy bear lady with a dead guy as my best friend. Sounds like I’ve gone more crazy than my friends around me have gone as crazy as I am.” He laughed and let go of me, smiling. 

We sat there in silence for a while just listening to Amelia and Jason argue about him and Jake with code names. After a while Castiel had to go and I didn’t even question it when he kissed my hand goodbye. That was the first thing he did all that time ago and it still had me all flustered. I didn’t show it obviously. I couldn’t do that.

* * *

Later that night when I got home from work Charlie cornered me saying “intervention!”

I asked her grumpily “What about?”

She pouted and replied “We’re going to talk about love and you are going to listen!”

She dragged me to the sofa and said sternly “Now listen. I know you think that if it doesn’t work first time around, it won’t work the second time round but you can’t say that if you don’t try it a second time around! What if it works and you end up getting married and having kids?! What if it doesn’t work and you finally are able to move on?! Both are good because you get the closure your heart needs! Y/n you need to give it a second chance, you need to see what happens!”

She then got up and just left me on the sofa thinking about her words. My heart wanted Castiel but I knew that disaster would strike like it did before, it always did when it came to love but maybe Jake did deserve a second chance. I mean he makes me smile and laugh and it may not be love but I like him. I-I should give him a chance, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll do what Amelia said and explore my feelings, Castiel is in my past I should move on like Charlie had said.

So that’s what I tried the next day. I was going to ask Jake out on a date. I went into work and saw Castiel waiting at my office door but without any gifts. Hmm, maybe he gave up? He smiled gently at me and I smiled back asking “What can I do for you Cas?”

He replied a little sheepish “Dean and I were going to go to dinner tonight but he cancelled on me and I still wanna go out to dinner so I was wondering if you’d go with me so I don’t look like a sad loser eating by myself.”

I looked at him a little shocked and said without hesitation “Of course Cas, I’d love to.”

He gave me the brightest smile ever and replied “Thank you Y/n, I-I’ll pick you up at seven”. I nodded and he just walked away waving to me happily. It wasn’t a date, it was just us going out as friends because he needed a back up. That’s what I told myself at least.

Jake came in at lunch and asked me out on a date at seven that night. Where he got the courage from I don’t know but it was kinda hot and I wasn’t really paying attention so I said yes. So now I had a problem, I had to either tell Castiel that I couldn’t go out to dinner with him or I could tell Jake that I couldn’t go on a date with him. It was painful. I sat in my office for hours thinking it over. With Jake I had a date and it was his second chance. Charlie wanted me to give second chances so I’d go out with Jake. With Castiel it wasn’t a date, he’d understand. Well that’s what I told myself to make it easier.

I told Castiel I couldn’t go with him and he looked okay but his eyes were a little pained. I felt bad because the moment I said I couldn’t go out with him I wanted to take it back and just hug him to death but I didn’t. I was keeping to my plan. 

So there I was going into the burger joint with Jake for our date. He planned it and I had to say it was pretty homey and it made me comfortable except for when I saw Castiel sitting in the usual booth nursing a glass of whiskey. Jake was telling me some story but I couldn’t take my eyes off Castiel. He wasn’t really drinking, he was playing with the glass and he kept blinking hard. He was upset and trying not to cry. It bothered me so much but I couldn’t figure out why until I saw the tiger lily next to him on the booth seat. He had planned out our dinner, it wasn’t just us hanging out. 

I felt tears come to my eyes and I tried to blink them away. I-I was not doing that, I was with Jake and we were supposed to be having a good time. I couldn’t let my heart get to me but it was and it was aching in my chest calling out to my blue eyed love trying so hard not to let anyone see him cry. He was trying so hard not to be upset, he always did that. He didn’t like crying, his father used to tell him crying was for the weak and lonely and I knew he didn’t want to be that but now it would probably be in his mind making him loathe himself. My chest felt tight with panic and sadness now and I couldn’t do it anymore. I looked up at Jake with tears in my eyes but he was already looking at his hands as if he knew what I was going to say. I sobbed out “I-I’m sorry Jake but I can’t do it. I-I know you like me and I like you too but I love him a-and I can’t sit here watching him look like that.”

Jake gave me a watery smile and replied “It’s okay. I-I knew you loved him, I-I just thought that maybe you’d love me if I tried hard enough. I didn’t realise he had all your heart tucked away for himself. I’m sorry I got in the way, go be with him. Maybe one day I’ll find the girl who’ll look at me the way you look at him. I hope you have a happy life Y/n.” He got up and kissed my forehead before just leaving without saying another word. He understood, he was sad but he understood. 

I got up and walked over to Castiel who was still crying silently. I sat next to him leaning my head on his shoulder and he looked up from his drink extremely confused. He asked trying not to sound broken but failing miserably “Y/n? What are you doing here? I thought you had a date?”

I sniffled trying to stop the tears and replied softly “I-I was on a date then I realised I loved you too much to do it. I’m sorry I didn’t go out with you tonight.”

He wiped away my tears, looking at me with concern before asking “Did he do this to you? Did he make you cry?”

I shook my head and replied “He brought me here for the date and I saw you and it made me upset. I-I know when you’re upset Cas and it was breaking my heart sitting there watching you like this. I know how you’ll blink so hard you’ll make the tears blur into your eyes instead of out of them, I know how you’ll play with a drink for hours just stewing in your own self loathing and I didn’t want that. I’m sorry I didn’t understand that you wanted me back, I’m sorry I didn’t see that you deserved a second chance. C-Charlie was right, I can’t just think things won’t turn out right before I even give it a chance. I’d end up making a disaster I was trying not to make.” He let out one of the tears he had been desperately trying to hold back and I wiped it away smiling softly at him.

He looked down at his drink and said “You don’t have to pity me Y/n, go get Jake and enjoy your date. I know I’ve lost you now, I know I’m never going to get you back no matter how much my heart calls out to you.”

I shook my head and replied brokenly “I don’t pity you Cas. I just can’t stand to see you upset. I love you and it hurts to see you upset. You’d never lose me, you stole my heart and you’ve never given it back. You won’t get me back because you never lost me in the first place.” He refused to look at me and just shook his head refusing to believe it. I placed my hands on his face forcing him to look at me but he somehow avoided where I wanted him to look. I whispered softly “Please look at me. Cas, please.” He looked up and I trapped his eyes in my gaze, not wanting him to look away from me as I told him what he should already know. I smiled lovingly at him and said “Castiel Novak you stole my heart the moment we met and you have _never_ given it back. You still haven’t and I don’t plan on asking for it back either. I love you Castiel, I love you more than anything and I was terrified that we’d end up hurting each other again. B-But now I’ve seen what happens when we’re not together and it hurts more, it hurts more knowing that we both love each other but we’re not together. It hurts knowing I hurt you by not being with you, it hurts knowing the same thing happened to me and it hurts knowing you know what it feels like. I-I don’t want to be without you anymore.” He didn’t say anything to that, he just looked at me blankly. 

I took my hands off his face seeing he wasn’t going to let that happen and went to leave but as soon as I stood up he caught my wrist and pulled me back down before kissing me senseless. Oh god I had missed those lips. He kissed me like he had been starving and it felt like it was never going to end. It felt like his hands would forever be on my waist holding me impossibly close to him, it felt like he’d forever be moaning into my mouth as I let him devour every little bit of me and it felt like I’d forever be in a daze from the sheer amount of emotions we shared in our kisses. 

When we both needed air he pulled away slightly and whispered against my lips “Don’t just say that to me and go to walk away. You’re supposed to be giving me a second chance, not just a second of your time. I-I love you too and it kills me everyday knowing I can’t hold you and kiss you and tell people you’re mine because damn that’s all I want to do. Jake made it so hard for me, I-I wanted to kiss you in front of him and make it so so clear that you’re mine but you weren’t. I want you to be mine, please be mine again. Please let me love you again!”

I laughed breathlessly against his lips and replied “I’ve been yours for a very long time Castiel and I’ll continue to be yours until the end of time. I don’t think I’ll ever not want you to love me.” He kissed me, smiling like an idiot and I couldn’t help but smile back. When he pulled away he looked down at the flower sitting in the booth.

He picked it up and gave it to me before saying softly “If we leave now we can make the reservations I made. I’d still like to take you to dinner. I had the whole thing planned out. I-I wanted it to be perfect.”

I smiled softly and replied “As nice as that sounds I still have an order here.”

Jo smiled and yelled over to us “Order’s cancelled! Go on your freaking date for gods sake!”

He asked chuckling slightly at Jo “Can I take you to dinner now?”

I nodded eagerly and he picked me up, making me yelp as he ran out the burger joint with me in his arms. 

Only god knows how much I had missed this man. Looks like he won the competition even though there was never a competition in the first place. He’d always have my heart.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay so wow, it’s been a while. I am sorry for not posting in like two months. I am hopefully going to be updating every week or every two weeks. I hope you guys still wanna read this, please enjoy the part :)
> 
> Warnings : Fluff, just fluff and then some smut.

He was smiling like a child all the way to wherever he was taking me and I was a little nervous because I knew what those childish grins meant. It meant he had found out one of my deepest wishes and was making it come true. We arrived outside the most popular and busiest italian restaurant in Kansas and he had a shit eating grin on his face as I gasped in shock. He was taking me to the restaurant I had always dreamed of eating in. I had had the food once and had always wanted to have it again but in the restaurant. 

We got out the car and he gave the keys to his beloved Lincoln continental to the valet. He then skipped the whole line outside the restaurant and took out a small card to show the bouncer at the front of the restaurant controlling the flow of customers. They had a bouncer because people got so desperate to eat there they did literally anything. Castiel pulled me into the beautiful restaurant by my hand and I felt completely and utterly shocked and consumed by love for my walking miracle. He really was a walking miracle. He walked up to the host and said with a bright smile “I have a reservation under Novak.”

The host looked through the reservation log and smiled saying “Right this way Mr Novak and Miss L/n.” Wow, I wasn’t just guest here. The host led us to a table by the window and I let out a small wow at the sheer beauty of it. There were flowers everywhere and it looked like we were really in rome dining with all the italians. I was a little awestruck to say the least. The candles on the table only made the scene more romantic and I found myself overwhelmed with love for Castiel. I was about one romantic gesture away from kissing him like the world was going to end in front of the whole damn restaurant. The host placed the menu’s on the table as Castiel pulled my chair out for me and I sat down still looking around awestruck. Castiel sat opposite me and the host said goodbye politely. Castiel took my hand smiling lovingly at me before asking shyly “D-Do you like it?”

I smiled warmly at him and replied “I love it Cas. I’m pretty sure I’m one romantic gesture away from jumping you.” He smiled a little brighter and more confident before a waiter came over and asked for our drink orders. Castiel ordered the spumanti and I felt spoiled, he knew how much I loved spumanti. When the drink orders were out the way we looked at the food. It all looked delicious and real expensive. I went a little wide eyed at the prices and he mumbled out behind his own menu “Don’t you dare order the cheapest meal on there, I’m treating you. I don’t care what you want, price doesn’t matter.”

I blinked up at him and replied “Cas, it’s real expensive. Are you sure?”

He smiled that beautiful smile he always reserved for just me and answered “Price isn’t an issue. Now order what you want, not what you think will be cheapest. Tonight is all about you.” I nodded, blushing as his eyes lingered on my face with adoration, and when the waiter came back with the bottle of spumanti we ordered our meals. 

It was strange how easy it felt with him after all this time. We fell into easy conversation and before I knew it our starters had arrived. I couldn’t help but moan at the food. I really did love the food, it was beautiful. If I wasn’t in love with Castiel I would’ve been head over heels for the italian food at the restaurant. Castiel just smiled and started eating his own meal groaning in pleasure as he tasted the food. I smirked at him as he groaned because damn he looked blissed out.

The rest of the meal went beautifully. He was a gentleman like he always was, he complimented me non-stop just like he used to, he’d steal kisses anytime he could and he never stopped holding my hand if one was free. By the time we got back to my apartment I was a little drunk on love. I had had a spectacular if not emotional night and I wasn’t the slightest bit scared anymore.

I locked the door behind us and before I knew it his lips were on mine devouring every little bit of me he could get to. I moaned loudly into his mouth missing his lips so damn much and he just sucked on my tongue making me moan even more. Damn him and his kissing. We scrambled to my room desperately trying to remove each others clothing. It had been too long since I had felt him. 

As soon as my bedroom door was closed our clothes were being ripped from our bodies and thrown somewhere unimportant. I drank him in greedily not wasting anytime before I was pressing myself against his molten touch. His lips trailed down my neck leaving hickeys and bite marks pressed into my skin for everyone to see in the days to come. He bit my ear growling slightly as he gripped my ass tightly, lifting me up so I had my legs wrapped around his waist. I groaned sinfully feeling his erection poking against my sex ready and waiting for him. He walked over to my bed sitting down against the headboard while continuing to trail hickeys down my body until he was sure he’d left an adequate mark on me. His hands lingered on my skin searing his invisible mark into me. His touch was like lava, burning hot but it felt so electrifying and explosive at the same time just like a volcano. His eyes met mine as he dived back into my mouth leaving me light headed and drunk on pleasure as he teased my nipples with his skilled hands.

By the time he was finished with his ministrations I was desperate for more. He loomed over me kissing at my neck with vigor as his hands teased my clit lightly. I bucked into his hand begging for more and mewling at his touch. He smirked against my skin and gently spread my legs before slamming into me growling “Mine!”

I gasped, practically melting into the mattress as I let him set a punishing pace growling out “Mine” like a prayer.  I had missed it so much, no one could ever make me feel like he could. I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly letting myself be consumed by the slick feeling of him sliding in and out of me. I didn’t see when he put the condom on but I could feel the coolness of the rubber gently slipping away as his erection throbbed with unbelievable heat and slammed in and out of me like a piston from a car. We were both consumed with pleasure, letting the feeling of each other wash over us and damn did it feel good. I missed his noises, his size, his feeling, his heat. I just missed him so much.

My orgasm hit me like a train sending me hurtling over the edge until all I could see was piercing white. I could hear him growling out my name as he too reached his climax with an intensity like no other. 

When we finally came down he pulled out of me grunting slightly at the sensitivity. He disposed of the condom before collapsing next to me with another grunt. I smiled exhaustively at him and let him pull me into his arms before resting my head on his chest and gently falling asleep to him stroking my sides. He liked to do that, I had almost forgot what it was like to sleep with him. It felt so perfect finally having him with me again. I had missed his warmth so much. Castiel was like a furnace when he was sleeping and he never let you go, he’d hold you tighter if you tried to get away from him. I always felt cold in bed and I hated it when I slept with people and they didn’t even acknowledge me. I liked to be hugged and held when I was with someone and Castiel seemed to hate it any other way than pressed against each other, not to mention I never needed any blankets with him. He was like a warm teddy bear and I loved it.

In the morning I woke up to Charlie’s music blasting through the apartment like always. Castiel groaned burying his face into my pillow and deciding he was going to burrow himself into my duvet. He hated mornings, it was kind of adorable. I smiled as he pulled me with him and chuckled out “Cas, we need to get up.” He groaned and whined refusing to wake up and I simply slipped out his hold and got into his shirt and my panties. He peeked out from under my duvet smiling and I chuckled saying “You know where everything is. Just don’t go back to sleep or I’ll be back in here to pounce on you.” I kissed him softly before leaving him to it and going into the living space to see what Charlie and Dorothy were doing. They were currently singing in the kitchen while Amelia was falling asleep over her physics book with a waffle next to her. I sat next to my sleepy sister at the breakfast bar and she smiled lazily at me before asking “Who’s shirt are you wearing?”

I smiled at her and replied “Just eat your waffle.” She rolled her eyes and bit into her waffle while I watched Dorothy dance Charlie around the kitchen. Castiel emerged from my bedroom in his jeans from last night and I couldn’t help but smile at him. He sat down next to me still half asleep and Charlie placed his coffee in front of him. She must’ve heard us the night before. I should’ve felt embarrassed by that but no, I actually felt kinda proud about it. She was so loud and well I felt proud knowing we had beaten her. Castiel hummed sipping his coffee and I heard the thud of my sister’s head hitting her physics book. She snored quietly while still holding onto her waffle loosely and I quickly plucked it from her fingers and put it on her plate. Dorothy chuckled and asked “Okay so does she do this every morning? I don’t think I’ve actually seen her awake at breakfast for more than five minutes.”

I chuckled and replied “She’s not good with mornings.”

Charlie hugged Dorothy from behind and said “She’s very nocturnal, it’s funny.”

Dorothy hummed in understanding and asked “So who’s your friend Y/n?”

Charlie smirked and replied “That’s Castiel. He’s her boyfriend, now enough with question time. We have a movie to get ready for!”

Charlie dragged Dorothy off smiling and Dorothy smiled lovingly at Charlie. Oh yeah, they were definitely going to be together forever. Castiel chuckled behind his mug and asked half asleep “So I’m your boyfriend again?”

I kissed his nose and replied “Yes. I’m pretty sure you’re in a serious relationship if you’ve already said I love you to each other”.

He kissed me lovingly and said “I like being called your boyfriend again.” I smiled against his lips, as he kissed me lazily, and just let him show me affection. He got like that in the morning, it was nice having someone to shower you with affection. I heard a groan from my sister and chuckled looking over at her. She took her face off her book and said “Aurgh, kill me!”

I laughed lightly and replied “Nope, you’ll have to suffer the morning and live on.”

She pouted at me before going wide eyed and saying “Oh, Novak! I didn’t realise you were here. W-Why are you here exactly?”

Castiel smiled nuzzling into my neck and replied “I’m here because I love your sister.” I smiled running my fingers through his more than messy bed hair and Amelia looked a little shocked. Charlie and Dorothy came back out from Charlie’s room and Amelia sighed getting out twenty bucks. Charlie held out her hand and Amelia gave her the money while she smirked while saying in a sing songy voice “Told you so.”

Castiel and I just blinked at them both and I asked “Why did you just give her money Amy?”

Dorothy chuckled and replied “They made a bet ages ago. Charlie thought you’d end up with Castiel and Amy thought you’d end up with Jake. They made a bet to see who you’d end up with. Charlie won.”

I went a little wide eyed and asked “You were betting on my love life?”

Amelia looked sheepish but Charlie looked proud and nodded. I rolled my eyes and sighed out “It’s not the first time it’s happened.”

Amelia sighed in relief and asked “Can I have a twenty?”

I laughed and replied “No, you lost it to a bet and I’m not your personal money machine. If you want money get a job.”

She pouted at me and Charlie just chuckled saying “She’s right you know. Now if you’ll excuse us we’ll be at the movies watching Deadpool. Have fun guys!”

Her and Dorothy left together smiling and I couldn’t be happier. Amelia sighed and said “Well if you need me I’ll be in my room screaming over the physics project.” She got up and went to her room with her physics book in hand.

Castiel looked at her wide eyed and asked me when she was out of sight “Is she struggling?”

I nodded and replied “A little but she’ll get there, she always does.”

He frowned and said “If she needed help, she should’ve come to me.”

I kissed him softly and replied “You can talk to her later. It’s the weekend, she’s probably already asleep.” He sighed and nodded letting me lead him back to my room with a smile. He knew exactly what we’d be doing that weekend and damn was it going to be a good one. I finally had my blue eyed love back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Fluff, angst, Thanksgiving family dinner

So ten months had passed by in a blur and Castiel and I were back together. I don’t think I had ever been so happy. We had managed to get over what happened between us now and I trusted him again. It took me a while but I did now and I loved him with all my heart.

It was November now and that meant Thanksgiving. That year I planned on spending it in my pyjamas munching on junk food and ice cream with my boyfriend. Of course, it didn’t happen that way.

I smiled as I woke up with Castiel snoring loudly in the early morning. I was pretty sure Amy would be in any moment to throw a pillow at him. You see ever since he had the car accident his usual loud snores had turned into snores loud enough to start earthquakes. I didn’t mind because I was a pretty deep sleeper and Charlie and Dorothy were always dead to the world by the time they finished their nightly activities so they didn’t mind but Amelia, on the other hand, hated it because she was a light sleeper that didn’t like noise anywhere near her when she slept.

As if on schedule she burst into my room and threw a pillow at my sleeping Castiel. He just groaned in his sleep and rolled over taking me with him. He then resumed his snores like nothing even happened. She groaned in frustration and grumbled “For the love of god shut him the hell up! It’s not even seven in the morning and I don’t have to start packing until ten!”

I chuckled sleepily and replied “Oh shut up, he’s been swamped with midterms all this week. Also if you don’t like it then move out, nothing’s stopping you now. You’ve got a job, an invitation to move in with your best friend Benny and your other best friend Meg and a good sister and brother that will help you if you need it.”

She sighed and said “I might have to if this carries on. I’m serious, how on earth do you sleep with him snoring in your ears like that?”

“Simple really. I’m a heavy sleeper and it soothes me instead of annoying me. Now go back to sleep before I throw that pillow back at you” I replied with a playful grin. She sighed and got her pillow before going back to her room to sleep. I smiled at my sleeping boyfriend and ran my fingers through his hair to try and quiet him down for a while. It worked of course and instead of snoring he was emitting a low rumbling purr. He was like a giant kitten when he was sleeping. I mean he’d purr if you stroked his hair, he’d try and curl up into a ball while he slept and he’d start nuzzling me in the middle of the night purring with determination. I stayed like that for half an hour before Amelia came bursting into my room terrified. I looked at her and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Uhh you know how you said to Mum you weren’t going to be home for Thanksgiving because you wanted to relax at home alone and recuperate now you’ve got some time off?” she replied urgently. I nodded and she continued “Well I think she took that to mean you needed family here since she’s here and s-she thinks you’re hosting Thanksgiving!”

I shot up making Castiel stir and squealed “What?! I-I can’t cook! I’m in my pyjamas! I’ve got nothing prepared and it’s not even eight O'clock!”

Amelia nodded in agreement and asked frantically “What do we do?!”

Castiel grumbled, “Maybe calm down before I get up and throw my pillow at you.”

Amelia scowled at Castiel before grinning wickedly and asking “Cas is a good cook right?”

I nodded and she continued “So theoretically he could cook a Thanksgiving meal without trouble then?”

I caught on to what she was suggesting and smiled wickedly with her. Castiel peeled his eyes open and looked between us before shaking his head and saying “Oh no you don’t! I am not cooking a turkey, I’m relaxing and eating junk food like I planned on doing in the first place!”

I flopped down on top of him and hugged him tight before pulling out my best puppy dog eyes and pout and saying “But Caass? I can’t cook and my Mum needs to be impressed now she’s here and you need to make a good impression on her too. Please, Honey?”

He sighed and replied “Fine but you’re going shopping with me.”

I smiled and kissed him hard before getting up and saying “Get showered and get dressed, I don’t think my Mum’s going to appreciate you walking out in just your sweatpants Cas.” He groaned into his pillow before gently leaning up as I pushed my sister out the room. He doesn’t sleep with anything on and she did not need to see that, thank you very much. She blushed and squeaked “H-He wasn’t wearing anything was he?!”

I chuckled and replied “Hun, he never wears anything to bed. That’s why I pushed you out the room before his half-asleep mind realised that he just flashed his girlfriend’s little sister.” She chuckled a little and we walked into the living room. Almost instantly I was tackled into a hug by my Mum. Lucky for me Charlie was at Dorothy’s house with her parents so she wasn’t going to be a problem.

Mum smiled at us and said “Oh my baby girls, it’s so good to see you. I thought I might as well come up and see how you’re both doing since I haven’t seen you in quite a while and you obviously didn’t want to leave here. I’ll call Jason so the whole family will be here and it will be perfect. Now when will the dinner be prepared? I can help if you need it.”

I smiled as she released us and replied “About the cooking. I won’t be cooking, my boyfriend Cas will be cooking because that way the food will actually be edible.”

Mum blinked a few times before asking “Oh you’re boyfriend Castiel? I thought you broke up with him and was seeing a nice new fella called Carlton?”

Amelia and I both asked, “Where did you hear that from?”

Mum replied, “Well that’s what you said over the phone, Amy.”

Amy blinked and said, “No Mum I said she was giving Castiel a new chance and that I got her to try a Carlton at the nearby bar for her birthday.”

Mum gave a look of realisation and replied “Well I suppose he’ll have to do for now hey Sweetie? There will be plenty more where he came from.” She tapped me on the cheek and went to look around my apartment.

Amelia and I swallowed hard and she whispered, “She hasn’t even met him and she doesn’t like him.”

“It’ll be fine, he’s a great cook, perfect blue eyes and a smile to put the sun to shame. Mum will love him, I’m sure of it” I whispered back. Amelia and I told Mum we were going to get ready and she called Jason.

As soon as I was back in my room Castiel asked “Are you alright? You look like you just faced the devil.”

“Well apart from my Mum appearing out of thin air and her not liking you before she even met you, I’m fine” I replied as he pulled on a sock.

He blinked at me and said “Well I haven’t even met her yet, she’s probably a little sour from our break up. I mean I don’t even think I’ve forgiven myself for what happened, I doubt she’s going to be over the moon to hear we’re back together after what I did to you.”

I nodded and took a deep breath before replying “I’m going to take a shower, do not go out there to greet her until I’m ready. I don’t want to go out there to find you dead on my floor with my Mum wielding the weapon that killed you.”

He came over and wrapped his arms around me before kissing my forehead and saying “I’ll wait right here or I could come and join you.”

I chuckled lightly and replied, “Maybe tonight Mister, we’ve got a busy day ahead of us and I have a feeling we’ll both need the stress relief.” I kissed his cheek before going to take my shower.

Once the hot water had thoroughly calmed me down and I had finished washing vigorously I got dressed and Castiel and I went into the living room to find my Mum and Amelia on the sofa looking at my photo album of when Charlie and I went to comic con. Mum looked up at me with a smile and said “Oh there you are. I was just looking through this album. You look so cute as an overgrown bearded man.”

And there was the first jab of the day. As much as I loved my mother, she loved to jab at my life. She looked at Castiel and asked, “And this must be Caleb?”

“Castiel Mum, his name’s Castiel or Professor Novak if you see him around college” Amelia replied. Castiel extended his hand to Mum and Mum took it as she stood up to meet him. She gave him one of her double-edged smiles that was supposed to look both judgemental and soothing and I could already tell she was out to destroy him. When she let go of his hand he said smoothly “Pleasure to meet you Mrs L/n.”

Mum chuckled faintly and replied, “Well at least you have manners.”

Castiel gave her a fond smile and said “I hope so or all that etiquette training Michael put me through when I was a child has gone to waste. He always did want us to be on our best behaviour.” She looked very taken aback by how unaffected he was at her jab.

She asked “So you’ll be cooking for us? Will you be cooking a traditional turkey dinner for us or are you one of those weird new ageist fellas that think the world can go round without a giant turkey in the centre at Thanksgiving?”

“My Mum used to cook a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for us when we were younger after Dad left her. It was a way of saying thank you for the family she still had. I don’t think it would be right of me to change how I do things. It’s going to be traditional except there will be a few Russian twists to it. My Mum taught me how to cook and the only stuffing and salads I know how to prepare properly are my Mum’s ones and she loved her Russian cooking. It’s what her Mum taught her” Castiel replied with a warm smile.

I hugged him from behind and said “I’ve tasted your food, it’ll be wonderful. Don’t get so nervous.”

He smiled at me and replied “Well I’ve never cooked for so many people except for maybe my brothers but they’re easy to cook for. Lucifer will eat anything as long as it has meat in it, Michael will eat it as long as it’s a balanced meal and as long as there’s dessert Gabriel will eat everything he’s been given.”

I chuckled and Mum asked, “Well I suppose you’ll just have to wait and see if we approve of your  _Russian_  food?”

I scowled at her and replied “Mum don’t be so rude. I asked him to cook for us because he’s a brilliant cook and he’s had a rough week with work. The plan was to just relax by ourselves but you turned up. He could’ve just went home but he hasn’t so maybe you should be a little more respectful to the man who’s cooking you dinner.” She blinked at me in shock as I took Castiel’s hand and said, “Come on, we need to go get everything anyway.” She watched as I said goodbye to Amelia and left with Castiel to go grocery shopping.

When we got out the apartment we were met by Jason, Rachel and Luna. Luna jumped up into Castiel’s arms so she could hug him to death and I couldn’t help but smile. He smiled and said, “Good to see you too Luna.”

She giggled and replied “I brought my tea party set so we can have a tea party today. Daddy said you’d be busy but you always make time for tea! You will have a tea party with me right?”

Castiel smiled and answered, “Of course I will.” She kissed his cheek before he put her down and she went running into my apartment.

Jason and Rachel smiled and Jason asked, “So she just showed up?”

“Yup, the plan for the day was so simple but now it isn’t. Good luck” I replied with a sigh. Jason and Rachel hugged us before going in to see Mum. I dragged Castiel out and down to the parking lot and he dragged me over to his car even though we both knew my car was bigger.

He smiled at me when we got in and I said “I know she doesn’t like you but please don’t give up. She’ll come around, she’ll have to because I’m never leaving you.”

He kissed me softly before replying “Sweetheart, it’s fine. Just because your Mother doesn’t like me doesn’t mean I’m going to abandon you. If she doesn’t like me then she’ll just have to live with the fact that I’m not going to let you go.” I smiled against his lips and pecked them once more before he started the car and drove us to the nearest supermarket.  

The trip was surprisingly short given the fact Castiel always drove by the speed limits. Today, however, he was being as reckless as Dean. I suppose he didn’t want to take too long or my Mum could point something out about how long we took.

When we got into the store Castiel said “The first thing we need to do is get that turkey before anyone else does. The one over there, it’s the last one.”

I looked at the turkey he was talking about and nodded before cracking my knuckles and saying “Get started on the list, I’ll get the turkey.” He nodded and I started walking towards the back of the store. I spotted two people already going to get the turkey but they could go to another store in town because I needed that turkey and quick. I smiled and breezed by them both before picking up the turkey and going to find Castiel who was probably halfway through the list. He moves fast. One of the women who was coming for the turkey came over to me and said, “I’m sorry but I was going to get that turkey.”

I looked at her and replied feigning innocent “O-Oh. I didn’t realise it was reserved. I-I thought the collection for reserved turkeys was last week.”

She nodded and lied “Yeah, I reserved the turkey. Look just give me the turkey and I’ll be on my way.”

I shook my head and replied “I’m sorry but I need this turkey or my Mum’s going to be disappointed and I’m not going to get any kind of time to make sure my partner relaxes instead of working his ass off like he’s been doing. If you really wanted this turkey you should’ve reserved it when you were supposed to and before you call me a hypocrite, I never wanted to have Thanksgiving dinner but my Mum turned up unexpectedly so you can go to another store for your turkey since you’re obviously desperate and because this one is mine. It’s first come first serve.” I gave her a sweet smile before walking away to the home baking section.

I sighed looking at all the baking equipment and biting my lip before picking up everything I’d need to make a chocolate trifle. It was Thanksgiving and I think with how things were going between Mum and Castiel we were going to need my famous Trifle to calm the tension. I met Castiel in the dairy aisle and put everything I got in his shopping cart. He smiled and said, “You got the turkey!”

I smiled and replied, “I know how to deal with desperate people.”

He kissed me softly and asked, “Why have you bought a lot of chocolate and cream?”

“I’m going to make a Chocolate Trifle. I think we could all do with something sweet and I promised you something to satisfy your sweet tooth and you’ve never tried my baking” I replied pecking his lips.

He smiled at me lovingly and said, “I’ve only got a few more things to get and I’m looking forward to whatever you’re going to make.” I took his hand as we walked through the store to pick up the last of what he needed and when we finished we bought everything and left for home. He seemed more relaxed than when we left so that was good.

When we got back we were greeted by Mum trying to play one of her Thanksgiving games with the others. I yelled out “We’re back and we could really use some help!”

Jason got up to help and sighed in relief when he didn’t have to play the game. He hated her festive games. I chuckled as he took some of the bags from me and asked, “How are you coping?”

“She’s made us play What We’re Thankful For three times already! Save me or kill me! I don’t care which one!” he replied through gritted teeth. I rolled my eyes and followed him into the kitchen with Castiel behind me carrying the lighter stuff. I didn’t trust him to carry the heavy stuff even after Jason gave him the all clear ages ago. I didn’t want him to have problems with his back. Mum of course noticed and said “Castiel, pull your weight and carry the heavy bags. Honestly, don’t you think it’s a little rude to make Y/n do it?”

He smiled and replied “I would but she won’t let me. Something about hurting my back even though the car accident was over a year ago now. She still doesn’t trust that my back’s fine.”

I mumbled, “Well after Friday I’m not taking any chances.”

He rolled his eyes at me and replied “It was nothing. I-I just got a little out of breath.”

I put my bags on the counter before taking his face in my hands and saying “You nearly passed out in the middle of a lecture and you were wheezing. That’s not just a little out of breath Honey, I just worry about you.”

He smiled at me and kissed my forehead while replying “I’ll be more careful, I promise. And since the point of today was for me to recuperate will you help me cook?”

I smiled and nodded and Jason awwed us mockingly. I slapped his arm with a pout and Mum asked “Car accident? When was this?”

“Castiel got into a car accident trying to drive to Y/n. Remember that Serial killer that got loose? Y/n was at the bar he was spotted near and Cas wanted to make sure she got home safe” Jason replied casually. Mum blinked in surprise and Jason continued “I was worried he wouldn’t make it when he got put in the intensive care ward. He was in shock, wouldn’t wake up, his heart rate was climbing, had lung problems, back problems, fractured ribs, cuts and bruises everywhere and a broken leg. We couldn’t get him to calm down.”

Mum asked, “When was this?”

“Around the time you were in the Bahamas soaking up the sun. Before you ask they weren’t together” Jason replied while slamming down the cranberries on the counter. He got pretty mad at Mum sometimes for not being there for me or him or Amelia. I had called her a million times when Castiel got put in the hospital, I needed her to tell me everything was going to be okay. Jason was my rock when I was in the hospital with Castiel, it hurt me to see him in hospital and I struggled sometimes. Castiel kissed into my hair as I burrowed my face in his chest and whispered “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here, alive and well and I’m going to remain that way.”

I smiled into his chest and Mum said “I’m sorry to hear that happened Castiel. Take it easy.”

He smiled at her and replied, “It’s fine, it took a lot of physiotherapy and a lot of sleepless nights but I’m here and alive and well.”

Amelia added “The sleepless nights haven’t ended for me though. Your snores have reached the point where you can make earthquakes with them!”

I chuckled and Jason said, “Well there’s not much he can do about that and you don’t have to stay here you know.”

Amelia just rolled her eyes and replied,  "Yeah, whatever.“

Jason sat back down and I said, "Well we better get started on dinner.”

Mum nodded and replied, “If you want any help just ask.” I nodded and Castiel and I got started on dinner. The others settled down in the living room talking but Mum kept looking over to the kitchen. I didn’t care though, I was happy helping Castiel as he taught me how to do whatever he wanted me to do. I was trying to make cranberry sauce which was harder than you’d think when it was a Russian recipe and it involved more than just cranberries. I was trying to squish the cranberries and it was disgusting but Castiel enjoyed every minute of watching me squeal at the coolness of the berries anytime their juices squirted me. He’d just laugh and wipe the juice off me. Mum couldn’t help but smile when I dotted his face with juice from my hands because as soon as I did that he was trying to get payback and we ended up in a tickle war. Jason caught her staring, as Castiel tickled me to death with a huge grin on his face, and said “You know she hasn’t been this happy since Dad died. I know what you were planning to do today Mum and I don’t think you could do it even if you tried really hard because he’s never going to leave her and she’s never going to let him. Kinda reminds me of how you and Dad were if you ask me.”

She looked down with guilt and replied, “Jason he broke my baby’s heart, I don’t want to watch him do it again.”

“You know when he had that car accident he thought he deserved it and he thought he deserved to live alone forever. He wanted her to leave and never come back to him but she refused to leave his side. He can be an ass at times but I think everyone is at some point. He still hasn’t forgiven himself to this day. Anytime someone mentions the accident she gets upset because she doesn’t like to think of him in the hospital the way he was. Anytime it gets mentioned he’ll do all he can to remind her he’s not going anywhere and that he loves her more than life itself. Maybe instead of judging him on what happened, you should actually pay attention to how he is the only one that can make her smile like that and that when she needed you most you weren’t there. She called you ten times a day the first week he was in hospital because she found it hard to see him in that much pain. Your phone was on and you didn’t answer her because you felt like you deserved a break from your children. I know it’s hard for you when Dad’s death anniversary is around but he went into hospital a day after Dad’s death anniversary and instead of crying that day she spent the day holding Castiel’s hand. He was in a coma fighting for his life and she was by his side fighting with him because she didn’t want him to go like Dad did. She needed you to tell her it was going to be fine but instead I had to do it. I was there for her and you weren’t! So stop thinking he broke her heart and that is all he did because he did but he’s also the reason it’s fixed. Not you, not me, not Luna and not Rachel. He’s not going anywhere either because he knows, he knows the moment he does then both him and her would break and he’s not willing to let that happen. So before you try and sabotage the longest and best relationship she’s ever had just remember that when she was already breaking from remembering Dad’s death she was dealing with the fact that the love of her life might be dying too and her Mother was taking a break from everything because the love of her life died a long time ago” Jason said.

Mum looked at Castiel and I and Jason went to play with Luna and Rachel. By that point I was cleaning his face up because of course he couldn’t be bothered to do it himself. Mum smiled slightly remembering how Dad and she used to be like that and decided that perhaps Castiel was good for me. Jason was right about one thing, Castiel was my hope now. When I thought he was going to die like my Dad he pulled through for me. Mum knew it now, she saw it every time I looked at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay so it has been a hell of a long time since I’ve uploaded anything and I’m so so sorry for that. I’ve had a very stressful year, bad writers block for about seven months now and I’ve just started uni. Anyway so I’ll try and upload more often now. Here’s part 10 of the best, long overdue. Hope you enjoy it :)


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